Emotions||BrightWin

feelings

Bright

I waited for the man to be done with his business and come back. But he didn't seem to pull away from the other guy he was making out with. Why was I waiting for him though? Why can't I just find someone else to release my problem like any other day?

I noticed that he had now headed towards the bartender, probably to go get a drink for the guy he was making out with and hopefully he'll be done with it. But he wasn't. He headed back, empty handed and now the two were heading to the exit. Was he going over to this stranger's place? While passing through he saw me, I'm sure he did but he didn't react and kept walking. That hurt. Something in me, made me get up from my seat and lunge forward to grab his hand to make him stop.

"What are you doing?", he asked coldly when he turned around which even the stranger heard since he too stopped. I dragged the man I was holding to a corner so that we could talk alone but he was resisting and trying to pull away from my grip. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?", he screamed again.

"Why are you with that man?", I blurted out, hating myself for having a hint of pain in my voice. Why did I sound desperate?!

"Why the fuck does that matter to you? Just let me be", he said and tried to move away but with my anger and reflex I swiftly lifted my left hand and punched forward, ignoring the sharp pain that followed. I looked at the man in front of me who still had a blank face and my hand only an inch away from his face. He didn't even flinch, even though that wasn't my intention. I didn't mean to hurt him or scare him. It was just my frustration. But seeing how emotionless he was worried me.

"I don't want you to fuck around with other men"

"Well are you going to help me pay my bills and for my meals?", he asked blankly. I knew people did this only at last resort. To survive. I didn't want to feel this way. To have feelings for someone anymore. I promised myself to not trust anyone like that after that day. March 26th. I hated that this man, who I barely knew, Heck, I don't know anything about him actually, was making me feel this way. "Thought so", he said as I didn't respond to his question earlier and punched my stomach to get away from me.

I wish I could help but it wasn't like I was that rich. I wanted this man. Not just for my sexual needs, but he felt... like something special. I needed to protect him. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to be him.

I clenched my fists as I saw him walk away and joining the stranger he was with earlier.
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Phew. Thanks for reading this chapter!