The Red Rose

1 - Stigma

On a sunny morning, I open my eyes.
Looking at the window, I realise.
I have slept for two days, what's going on, it doesn't feel right.

My hands searched for my body. Nothing new, Same old legs and eyes.

A yawn left my mouth, I wanted to run out.
Something smells so good, I want that food, I want that food.

I walked and kissed my Mom, Happy good morning my snowball.
Eating, drinking all I can do the same, so what's there, which feels different.

My eyes looked through the wall, something is dialling me a call.
Why can't I remember anything, which happened just two day's ago?

I turned and saw my face, all flustered and red.
My body feels the pain, needling me until it becomes a stain.

Searching for the truth, I faced myself in the mirror.
My body feels the same but somehow my soul is changed. (1)

Yeah, a new soul, My new soul.
I pinched myself here and there, let's go to work, everything will be cleared.

I packed my bag, run to work. I am a Doctor, what's there to learn.
Wishing everything will be fine, I begin to smile.

A person, named Jack is my patient today.
I am performing surgery in dismay.

I went home, tired from the day, I ate and went to sleep just like another day.
It's morning at five, someone dialled me alright.
I woke up, turned and picked the call. It's about Jack, and that's all.

I rubbed my eye, looking at the clear ceiling, what's this feeling, it's so chilling.
My heart drops a beat when I heard, he is now dead meat.

A tear rolled down my eyes, with a smile I said, that's alright. (2)
The reporter told me that I did my best, but why not his words, get through the rest.

I woke up and looked into the mirror, same old grizzly bear.
What is this I am feeling on my soul, did it changed again, without a trail?

Every day I woke up and do my best, but sometimes it didn't give me a rest.
My heartfelt heavy and there's a moment of crest, what I'm supposed to do with this chest.

Would it be better, If I was an Engineer?
Would it be better, If I was a writer?
Would it be better, If I was a Musician?
Would it be better, If I was a Comedian?
What's better I don't know, I am a sinner, that's a go. (3)

Lot's of people die on my arms, but I don't have someone to hug right now.
It pains me every time and every second, what shall I do, give it an end.

Should I end my Job or my life? What's the cost, for being right.

Everyone says I save so many, no one knows that's the irony.
I save but some die, just right before my eye.

Who will want to hear sad news, first thing in the morning? Today is just a day, not so shining.

I laid down on my Mothers lap, she gives my head a gentle pat.
I forget the STIGMA, I have on my soul, what will happen if the world became my home.

I can't cry every day, but I smile every day.
My stigma my heart my body and my soul, they are mine, So I appreciate myself one more time.

Let's forget the Opprobrium, that's my fave. And start a new day with a pledge,

I am gonna save, I am gonna save.

....................

Note:

1 - Here, the Protagonist is declaring his soul-changing. Means, he can't find the old him, who was more innocent and didn't have his hands on blood.

2 - Here, he is trying to pull himself together while crying a silent tear. His heart is broken but he can't show it to anyone.

3 - Protagonist found himself in a state he doesn't want to be. But it's his job and he gotta no choice. Because he is unable to save everyone.