Clearer

Chapter 1

"Maddy, I want to get him out of there. I don't think he belongs in jail." My brother, John, stated. I sat there and starred at him for what felt like hours but was only seconds.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I responded. "He did horrible things to me that you don't even know about. He belongs in there. He is the reason that everything bad is happening."
"Oh don't blame dad for everything!" He was yelling now.
" Well if he wasn't such a horrible father none of this would be happening! You wouldn't be hating mom! Mom wouldn't be depressed and cutting and suicidal! Chris wouldn't be disappearing every other day and being gone for days! Hell, I wouldn't be the person I am now! I wouldn't be scared of almost every man I've met! Our father, I shouldn't even call him that, did horrible things to me! And the only reason you don't want to hear them is because you know it's true and you don't want to know the truth!" I screamed back.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR." He stopped the car and opened my door. I sat there staring at him in disbelief. His dark blue eyes had anger bursting through them. "GET OUT! " He yelled one last time and I finally agreed.
I slammed the door when I got out of the car. I watched him speed off. I turned and started walking the other way when I heard a loud bang, almost like a gun. I turned and saw a Semi Truck over lapping his car. I ran over to the accident screaming. I looked around, everyone was on their phones calling 9-1-1. I ran over to his door to see an unconscious John, covered in blood. I tried to open the door to get him out but it wouldn't budge. I then started to pry it open with my hands until I had blood streaming down my hands. Next thing I knew, I heard sirens everywhere. I was still trying to get the door open as the engine started on fire. Police men were pulling me away from the car. I fought like no other. Finally, they pulled me away. I was screaming and kicking, trying to get out of their grasp. I watched the firemen and paramedics finally pull him out. I was rushed to an ambulance for my hands. John was rushed into the helicopter taking him to the nearest hospital.

I woke up, covered in sweat but still cold. I've been dreaming about that day since it happened a week ago. It was all my fault. My brother is dead all because of me. Today is the day I've been dreading the worst. Today is the day we let him go. The funeral. I have to face everyone again. I have to see my friends. I have to socialize.

"Sis, are you awake?" My mom asked knocking on my door.

"Yeah mom, I'll be out in a minute." I said while wiping a tear that unexpectedly fell down my cheek.

I opened my door to see my mom all ready to go. "I couldn't sleep, so I got ready early." She said as I hugged her.

"Has Chris showed up yet?" She nodded her head, sighing. I sighed back. "He'll be here. I promise." I said.

She let go of me and walked down the hall. I walked to the bathroom to start getting ready. I started the shower. While the water was heating up, I examined myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. I haven't really looked in my mirror since the morning I left with John. I haven't showered either.

I did not look how a 16 year old should look. My usual bright green eyes looked dark and were blood shot. I had major bags under my eyes. I haven't had a good night sleep in days and it was totally noticeable. My pink lips were chapped. My brown hair was greasy. I was a horrific sight. I probably smelt really bad to. That's probably why my mom didn't give me as long as a hug.

When I was done showering, I walked to my room to get dressed. I found my black dress in the closet. It was a knee length dress that was long sleeved and low in the back. It was pretty plain and simple. I put the dress on and it was bigger than it used to be. I've lost some weight since I last wore it. All I've ate this whole week was a couple crackers a day.

I went to the bathroom and applied little makeup and straightened my hair. I didn't want to get to dressed up because I knew there was gonna be a lot of tears. I went downstairs to see Chris, my little brother, at the table eating cereal. He was dressed in a black suit and tie. He actually looked nice. He didn't look as tired either. He looked the best out of all of us. He was 14 years old and has done every drug you can think of and has been drunk multiple times but you can hardly tell. I don't know how he does it. When I smoke my cigarettes, you can tell. Even though it's a small thing, you can tell by my face. It's not fair. He gets away with it.

The whole morning was spent in silence. Nobody even looked at each other. Finally the clock struck ten and it was time to go. I had to drive because my mother wasn't capable of being behind the wheel for she's been drinking all day. When we arrived at the church, cars were already parked everywhere. I didn't think there would be this much of a turn out. I pulled into the parking spot that was reserved for us and we all unbuckled.

I turned around to look at Chris and said "You ready?"

"Fuck you." Was all he had to say.

A.N. I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS STORY YET BUT HOPEFULLY IT IS GOOD SO FAR AND IT ISNT GOING TO BE TOO SHITTY.