Clearer

Chapter 4

The ceremony began. There were tears from everyone. You could hear tissues being blown every five seconds. It was kind of disgusting. I was trying my best to be strong and not cry. It was really hard though. So I started picking at my hands. That was until Kayden grabbed my hands and held them away from each other so I couldn't do it anymore.

Then people started speaking of their memories with John. Some of them were funny, some of them were sad. There was a list up on the alter of who was next and after that person was done speaking, you were kind of forced to go up and speak.

"Tessa...." Braxton, another of John's best friends said. This is going to be horrible. Tessa was his girlfriend when the accident happened. Everyone looked around trying to find her familiar, pretty face. Finally she stood up. She was in the very back near Luke, who was still starring at me and Kayden.

She walked up to the microphone and tapped it. She stood there for a while looking at the pictures. She had hair that was a little longer than her shoulders. It was dyed with blonde and brown in it. It actually fit her face very well. She has a huge mouth though, she can fit over 110 full goldfish in it. It was pretty amazing to watch. Her eyes were bigger and always had the best makeup. They were a hazel green. She was very pretty.

Finally, she began to speak. "I remember the first day I met John. I was new at the school. I was walking down the hall with is sister, Maddy." And with that everyone looked at me and smiled. Kayden put his arm around me but I pushed it off. I could already tell Luke was smirking by that move but I checked just in case. Pretending to pop my back to see if he was, and he was. "And this kid opened his locker and it hit me in the face. I dropped my books everywhere. I kind of fell too. Maddy just laughed but the kid that hit me with his locker, John, looked down and helped me out." She rambled on and on about that day. So I looked over at Chris to see if he was okay. He wasn't there. Neither was my mom.

"I'll be right back." I whispered in Kayden's ear.

"But you're up next to speak." He whispered back.

"I'll be back in time. I just need to go find my mom and Chris."

He replied with a simple nod and I got out of the seats.

When I walked down the isle, everyone starred at me. So I started walking faster. I tried to push past Luke but he grabbed my arm.

"Where are you going?" He asked sternly.

"None of your business. Now let me go." I tried to tug my arm out of his grip.

"No. You're up next."

"How did you know that?" I asked still trying to pull my arm away.

"I looked at the list before anyone else got here."

"Well, cool. You know the set up. Now let me go so I can find my family."

"But what if she finishes early and she calls your name and your not there, won't you feel bad?"

"Won't you leave me alone?"

"Won't you stay and speak?" He stuck his tongue out and licked his lips. "Here, let's make a deal. You stay here and speak, and I'll go find your family."

"No. No way in hell." I started shaking my head back and forth, still trying to get out of his grasp.

"-and I'll never forget the day I got the call from Maddy saying what has happened. It was the worst moment of my life. I'm sorry." Tessa sobbed and walked off the alter and headed to the bathroom.

"Uh oh. Looks like you got no choice but to go up there and talk while I got find your family." Luke said, finally letting go of my arm.

"Don't you fucking leave this spot." I replied, sternly. Luke's reaction to that was a smirk and putting his hands up in defense.

"Maddy, it's your turn to come up and speak." The priest said into the microphone.

I started walking down the isle up to the microphone. Nobody was starring at me, they were all starring at Luke. When I finally got up to the mic, I stood there for a moment, just looking into the crowd.

"Uhm, hi." I started. "Hopefully you all know me well enough to know I didn't prepare a speech. I was kind of hoping that somehow my name would mysteriously disappear from the list." Everybody laughed and I gave them the fakest most real looking smile I could manage. "Uhm, I don't know where to start. John was a great brother. He was always there for me through thick and thin. We've been in a lot of arguments but we've been able to make it out of them. Until now..." I looked down and thought for a moment. "Anyways," I looked up again, "he would always tell me how amazing his life was before I came along in our arguments. He would tell me how spoiled he would get and how life was just better but after the argument he would say he couldn't live without me. Then Chris came along and all three of us were pretty close. But at the same time, mine and John's fighting would get private and we would hide it from our parents. There was this one time," I started laughing, "we started to get physical in our fight and every time mom would walk in we would pretend to be hugging and once she shut the door we would start punching again." I started to get serious again, "And then the day that he died, as many of you know, I was with him in the car and we got in a fight about family issues. He kicked me out of the car because I said something that pissed him off and I shouldn't have said. So I got out and turned around and started walking away. And then I heard a big bang," my voice started cracking and some tears started rolling down my cheeks, "and I turned around to see his car smashed and on fire. I ran to his car to try to get him out before his car exploded or something. I started prying the doors open with my hands until police men had to carry me away. I was forced to go to an ambulance while they pulled him out of the car and when they did, I already knew he was gone and wouldn't come back." I looked at Kylee, Kayden, and Tessa to see that they were sobbing. I started sobbing and ran out of the church without saying another word.

A.N: SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT FOR THIS CHAPTER! LIFE GETS PRETTY BUSY.