Designer Blue

chapter 15

I pull up to Kyle's large two story house. He lives in one of the higher end neighbor hoods. His dad is a lawyer and his mom is a elementary school teacher. There quite wealthy to say the least. There are no cars in the driveway, showing that his parents arn't home. That doesn't eliminate the possibility that he could be though.

I park Skylars tracker in the driveway and speed walk up to the door. I ring the doorbell waiting impatiently I wait two minutes when no one opens the door I try to see if its open myself. I'm surprised to find the door unlocked. Someone must be home if the door is unlocked.

I slowly walk inside the house shutting the door silently. I tip toe around the rooms downstairs and find no one. I slowly go up stairs and head for Kyle's room. I place my ear against the door and hear a small sobbing sound.

I take a deep breath and slowly pull the door open. Kyle is sitting on his bed at the other side of the room his legs are curled up against his chest his arms apear to be wrapped around them. He has not yet noticed my presence as his back is turned to me.

"Kyle." i say gently.

He jerks his body towards me rapidly obviously surprised by my presence. His eyes are puffed up and red it's obvious he's been crying he looks like a mess it's been only an hour since I last saw him but he looks so destroyed now stripped of his normally happy aura. It's in that moment I notice the small Swiss army blade in his hand and the slightest coat of blood on it.

"Kyle." I repeat my eyes wide with worry.

"Bethany please just leave." he says staring down at his bed a sad dark look in his eyes.

"Kyle I'm not leaving you." I say firmly.

"Just leave me alone!" He yells throwing the Swiss Army knife onto his bed side table.

"No Kyle! I'm not leaving you alone! Not like this!"

"Get out!" He yells again more tears start to stream from his eyes.

I walk out of his room putting all my effort into keeping myself together and not crying. I take a deep breath and walk into his bathroom. I dig through the drawers until I find some medical tape I grab it and march back to Kyle's room.

I see the Swiss Army knife still laying on his bedside table so I walk up behind him. I move onto his bed and he turns around seeing me then turns back the other way. I move so I'm sitting behind him then wrap my arms around him tightly he leans back slightly putting a bit of his weight on me. He continues crying.

I let go of him and move so I'm sitting in front of him. I reach for his left wrist, he lets me take it as I start wrapping medical tape around it. Grabbing the Swiss Army knife I cut off the extra tape. I glance and see there are no fresh cuts on his right wrist.

"Thanks." he says quietly.

"Anytime." I reply, he's still not looking at me.

"I thought you left, just now." he says the sadness in his voice making me want to cry. "and earlier when I left I thought I lost you." He finally looks me in the eyes.

"I couldn't leave you not now not ever." I whisper in his ear. "you'll never lose me, even if you want to, I'm here to stay."

"Good." he whispers back as he nuzzles his face into my neck. I hug him tighter.

We pull apart after a couple minutes of sitting there and hugging. He stares into my eyes. "I love you Bethany to infinity and beyond." I give him one quick peck before we lay down so my head is resting on his chest.

"I love you too Kyle." He wraps his arms around me tightly. I don't want to ruin this moment. Everything is peaceful and perfect right now. But I ask anyways. "Kyle are you gonna tell me?..."

"Tell you what?" He asks as he hugs me tighter to his chest.

"Why?" I ask simply I know he'll know what I'm asking. His body tenses for a few seconds and but before I can start to regret my asking he relaxes and takes a deep breathe.

"You guessed right, when you asked if this was what I wanted to tell you but wasn't ready to. I still don't know if I'm ready to tell you or anyone about this but I'm going to tell you anyways. I'm telling you this Bethany cause I don't wan't it to get between us because I do want to be with you forever. You need to promise me something though." He says seriously.

"What?"

"You can't tell anyone about this not even Skylar. You need to promise me Bethany no matter what. I know it's gonna sound bad, really bad. I need you to trust me though when I say I'm handling it. You can't tell anyone promise me that?"

"I promise Kyle." I grab his hand and squeeze it.

He takes a deep breathe. I can tell this is hard for him to say. "I don't even know where to start with this Bethany." I stroke my thumb across the side of his hand. "My dad isn't as... nice as he seems." I scoot so I'm sitting closer to him and run my hand up and down his back. "I don't know how to say this." He bites his lip. He reaches for the bottom of his shirt and starts to pull it over his head. I am dumbfounded and confused at first. Then I see the many scars and cuts from lashes they cover his back. My breathe hitches in shock.

"My dad's abusive Bethany." He says his voice shaking. I run my fingers gingerly over the bumps of the scars that layer his back there are few spots that are unmarked. "Since about two years ago. When he became the owner of the law firm my dad started drinking a lot. At first it was only when he went on business trips. Then he started drinking at home and soon he became a full alcholic. He started hitting me with a belt." Kyle's voice cracks. "he gets so mad when he's drunk and he says the only way to get me to behave is..." a tear escapes his eye and he quickly wipes it away. "to use the old fashion method." He pulls his shirt back over his head. "I know i've made some decisions but nothing that bad!  The worst I've done is I got drunk once.  My mom wants to file for divorce but shes scared he'll come after us she and she doesn't want there to be any chance he gets any custody over me. She wants him in jail but she want's us far away. I think she want's to wait till I graduate but I can't take another two years of this Bethany." The tears escape his eyes once again and he rests his head on my shoulder.

"Kyle I'm sorry I had no idea I'm sorry I pushed you on this. I promise you I won't tell anyone. I'll stand by you no matter what happens though remember no matter how hard it gets your always welcome to come hide out at my place. I love you Kyle and listen to me on this please don't get mad at me for saying this. Cutting is not the answer you're so much stronger Kyle you've lived through two years of abuse and thats more than anyone should ever have to deal with. You've kept pushing through everything. You don't need to put up walls around me Kyle you don't need to hide that your sad or mad or anything from me, cause I'm not going no where no matter what." I say hoping he doesn't get angry. He lifts his head off my shoulder and looks me in the eyes.

"I know cutting isn't the answer I feel guilty about it after but I don't know what to do and it took away the pain of my sorrow even if only for a short period of time. I'm trying to stop though, I promise you I am. I broke down today and made a bad decision. I broke down because I thought I lost you. I got scared and I ran away earlier because I wasn't thinking."

"I don't care about that you had good reason to run.  I'm glad you told me why Kyle."

"So am I. You have no idea how long I've held that inside." he says taking a deep breathe the tears stop falling from his eyes. "I love you so much." he rubs his nose against mine in a eskimo kiss.  

"To infinity and beyond."