Unpromised ( Giyu × Shinobu ) : REVISITED

13 - Regrets & Trash

I knew from the start.

That this medicine was insanely toxic. Poisonous.

On top of that, I gave Tomioka-san a dose much to large for a human.

I already saw the abnormalities. Like how he was supposed to be bursting with energy, but was still his usual, bored-self.

I knew.

So.. why?

Why did I continue to live as if I didn't?

I went to the meetings with him like normal. Passed by him like normal. Bullied him like normal.

If only I'd paid more attention, if only I'd treated him like he was going to die..

I would've confessed earlier.
I would've teased him more.
I would've kissed him.
I would've asked him to call me Koucho.
I would've spent more time with him.
I would've.. done so much more.

He might be dead right now.

He might've died never being able to fully date me.

I'll never be able to experience that heart fluttering relationship.. even though.. even though I was so excited..

He's going to die! HE'S GOING TO DIE!

No.. no, no!

I don't want him to die with so many regrets!

"It kind of looked like you were about to kiss me there, Tomioka-san~"

"That was the point."

At least.. let us have a romantic kiss. Let him write a memorable goodbye letter.

Don't make him die so suddenly.. at least let him die in a noble way, in battle!

"Of course you're fine!"
"He's okay, rest assured."
"Mhm. He survived the medicine, no abnormality."

Not only did I lie to myself, but to others..

To Tanjiro, to Aoi.. and I didn't tell any other hashira.

They weren't able to treat him like he was about to die either. Because I lied to them. I told them he was fine.

So they didn't get to dote on him.

...Why did I lie? Why did I deny it? I knew he wasn't well! But I completely zoned it out.

Because I didn't want to accept he was going to die, I did something horrible!

"I'm.. such trash..!"