Voicemail|

Part 1

Sara's p.o.v

"Yeah yeah I'm fine." I said loudly so that my roommate who is also one of my best friends can hear. She always get worried when I lock myself in the bathroom for hours, but she never asks me any questions, just knock because she knows what's going on in my life.

I got up and washed my face then tied my messy hair up.

You looks like a corpse Sara. I said to myself. But isn't that what you are? Only the shell is left.

"Breakfast is ready Sara. Come you ain't gonna skip breakfast today." Sammy who was patiently waiting for me said after seeing me slowly walking towards her.

"I'm not hungry Sam." I mumbled.

"You didn't have your dinner last night too. What are you trying to do? Die? And make me sad?" She asked me and after saying that she realized she used a very sensitive word.

Death, that's a word which makes me suicidal. I didn't replied to her and just sat with her to have breakfast, because seeing her sad make me worry too.

"Eh stop poking your food idiot, you are not a baby right?" She complained.

"I don't feel like eating." I said and then I saw her phone buzzing, it was Jae. Sammy was about to cut the call.

"Answer it, it's okay." I said. Then she got up and walked away to answer the phone.

Jae, seeing her name made me walk back to our past, when we used to have lots of fun.

It was Jae, Yoshi, Andy, Haruto, Boram, Junkyu, Asahi and me. Sammy and Felix didn't tag along much because Felix had his own squad so he took Sammy away with him most of the time.

Time passed, it's been 5 years now. We got separated. It was my decision, because seeing them every day made me feel like I'm drowning. The only person I kept in touch with was Sammy. I don't know where are they now, what are the doing or anything. Sammy knows but I never asked and she never uttered a word about anyone of them. The only thing I know is Jae left Korea with Yoshi. Because she told me before leaving, it was hard for me to let go of her and others eventhough I never said in words.

"Sara~" Sammy softly called my name.

"Yeah?"

"Jae came back with Yoshi." She said and I know it's a very good news for her since Jae is her best friend. But because of me she was worried.

"Great. Ya'll should meet up." I said and smiled.

"You don't wanna meet her? And others?" This is the first time she asked me that question.

"I don't know."

"You don't wanna know about Andy? Haruto? Boram? Junkyu?" She asked me.

"I- I don't know Sam." I mumbled and my eyes started itching because of tears.

"It's been 5 years Sara. They are dying to meet you. I know it's hard but-"

"They are fine right? If they are living their lives happily that's what matters." I answered.

"They are fine, but they are worried about you. They misses you." I miss them too but those memories keep hurting me, what should I do?

"I know Sam but I can't. Give me time."

"I know 5 years aren't enough for you to forget him but you had suffered enough,I know it's too much for you and all but they loves you, they wanna see you just like me." She said.

"I will think about that Sam."

"Sara I know you are afraid of getting hurt again but let's try to move on. I don't wanna see you like this. I want my weirdo back."

I couldn't promise anything but I just nodded. Then the door flung open and Felix barged in.

"Hey babe! Hey Sara." He smiled and waved. He came and hugged Sammy and pecked her forehead.

I smiled to myself, they were so cute.

I am not jealous of them or anything, but I wish he was here too. I excused myself and entered to the garden.

I looked out on the beautiful twilight, that pretty and soft glowing light of the sky reminded me of him.

I sat under the redwood tree, that we used to spent most of our time together. I closed my eyes and started talking to him again like I used to do for past 5 years.

"Hi Asahi it's me again, I was thinking about you today too, that's nothing new right? I was thinking about you in silence, you know what? Felix just came to see Sammy, the way he greeted her and kissed her forehead made me think of you. You was like that too back then, remember? I still feel your touch Asahi"

"You never was that person to talk much I know but every single day I spent with you was the best. I miss your voice, I miss your laughter and miss your little dimpled smile specially I miss your beautiful voice which used to sing lullabies for me when I was struggling with insomnia. Your soothing voice, it helped me calm down but now I'm at my worst still talking to you knowing that I wouldn't be able to hear you talk back to me ever again, all I have are your memories and photos but still here I am waiting to listen to your songs again which you only sang in front of me."

I opened my eyes and a flashback of him smiling and kissing me under this tree rushed in to my mind. I smiled, I was sad but at least I have his memories, so I can keep on living.

"It's been 5 years my love but I still love you." I whispered and hugged myself. A cool breeze passed by making the leaves of the tree fall on me.

I took my phone out and dialled your number.

"Hi you've reached Hamada Asahi, I'm sorry but I'm temporarily unavailable. I'll return your call as soon as possible."

"I wish you were unavailable temporarily Asahi I still can't believe that you are gone forever."

My dead wishes were scattered around my feet, I got up and looked up again.

"Asahi, see your girl is strong, she didn't cry because she knows you hate to see her crying."

Yes, I didn't shed a single tear, but that tear drop I held in slid down my cheeks after I blinked my eyes.

"I miss you." I said finally before going inside.