As fall slowly engulfed the world around him, Tsukishima Kei, found the shorter days somewhat comforting that there were now fewer hours in the day to continue to pretend to be alright. Though with the days getting shorter and colder, and winter neared he found himself dreading what would be the first Christmas without Yamaguchi, the first winter in which he wouldn't have to remind him to grab a scarf on the way out of the house, the first winter where that annual Christmas card from Daichi and Suga would be addressed solely to him.
It had become routine to on the days in him he found himself kicking himself over and over again for the emotions that bubbled inside him constantly and threatened to spill over the edge at any remembrance of his departed companion. He would easily admit that he hated himself for how easily he would become upset over anything to do with the subject. This time he had no real reason to be walking towards the cemetery, on a Saturday afternoon, he had nothing better to do, but yet nothing else he would rather do. So yet again he found his feet acting as if they were on autopilot, and the crunchy headphones he grabbed from the junk drawer in the kitchen, the same somber, yet welcoming grey gates appearing in the horizon of his vision.
At this point, he found comfort in the feeling of the marble against his back and the shade provided from the tree above him. And now crunchy and fading grass beneath him. Though the energy of the area was somber, he found himself seeking out the peace that came when he was there. It was a break from the annoyance of the world around him. No one understood him the way Yams did. He breathed for a moment and spoke.
"Hey Yams" leaning his head back and closing his eyes, what was he supposed to do the times before he had come here with a reason, never that he was just sad. God, why was he sad, quite literally nothing was going on in his life, nothing should have prompted him to be here, so why was he here in the place that to his annoyance and relief had made him cry every time he was here.
"I really have no idea why I'm here..." he gritted his teeth slightly in annoyance with himself. He gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts and just try and come up with the most logical reason as to why he was here, after a moment of contemplation he spoke.
"I just really don't have anyone to talk to me anymore, or anyone to talk to." he leaned his head back and kinda laughed for an amount, "I even got a damn cat to try and not feel so pathetically lonely." he laughed once more and the slightly jovial energy subsided and he continued his conversation with a headstone.
"You'd like her..." he laughed quietly to himself a little. "The cat that is." he continued confirming there was no new girl in his life other than a stupid little tabby cat. "Her name is Yuzu, she's a brat. Kinda reminds me of you Yams," he said laughing to himself and pulling out his phone and pulling up a picture of Yuzu stretched out on the sofa of his apartment. Basking in the sun.
"I got her a month ago, the apartment was feeling a bit empty, or something." he starts scrolling through the photos and videos on his phone which have since been taken over with videos of Yuzu. That moment he brought her home and that time she stood like a gargoyle on top of the fridge at 3:00 am. That one time she fell asleep on top of Yamaguchi's favorite blanket and Tsukki didn't know exactly what to think about it. Tsukki sat there for hours going through the pictures on his phone taking time to explain every single one of them with a great amount of detail and care. As night began to fall he came across the picture of Yuzu all curled up to his neck in bed, her face absolutely content and comfy. Tsukki with his signature face of annoyance at the cat.
He wouldn't dare admit it but it was comforting to have Yuzu around the days were not nearly as lonely and at least he had someone around, to keep him company. Another being to put up with how much of an asshole he could be at times. He stared at the picture for a little while longer, before the tears he'd been holding in for days threatened to spill over, he spoke.
"You would've loved her, Yams." it's true the two would've been inseparable, and the smile that Yams would've made for that damn cat would've been adorable. Night had rolled its way in and blanketed the world in dark blue. Tsukki knew that it was time to go, to head home, he had spent almost all day at the cemetery showing cat videos to headstones. He'd be annoyed with himself over this later. As he stood up the grass beneath him crunched, he stretched his body after spending the day sitting. He looked down at the carved piece of marble in front of him and said in a completely sincere voice.
"Thank you for spending the day with me Yams" with those words he leaned down but his hand on the top of the headstone brought his head down and kissed the top of the marble. It was cold and smooth, nothing like the top of Tadashi's head. As he turned to walk away he could feel the tears well up in his eyes, he didn't fight it this time he let himself cry as he walked home. This was the first time Yams hadn't seen him cry since he started visiting. His feet followed their programmed path home, and his front door unlocked with a click. A small meow was heard at his feet as he walked in, he immediately scooped the cat up into his arms and said.
"Hey Yuzu, sorry I've been gone all day." The cat responded by rubbing her face into his and purring. "Come on you brat let's go to bed."
