"Are You Being Served?", Season 1; Episode 1, "Dear Sexy Knickers", 1972, which is in colour...right in the media section.
Warning: It is rated PG for sex references, some coarse language, and adult themes.
You must be 13 years and over to see and hear it.
****
The medium-sized, long haired, man stepped into the elevator of Grace Bros. He wore a blue pinstripped suit, black trousers, a brown belt, blue socks, and black shoes on his feet. His bright, blue eyes flickered on the models in the huge, expansive, London Department Store...that hadn't move on with the times since 1872...rather than 1972.
He saw Mrs Slocombe stare at her Assisant, Shirley Brahms, with disdain.
"Good morning ladies. Special delivery of...the models".
"They're to be go near the Women's Section", Mrs Slocombe declared, "...we're very concerned about the feminist agenda being taken out by Mister Grace".
"Mister Grace is 80 years old, tone deaf, and walks with a cane. And he has clout in the Department Store. I've worked here a short time...and everyone's on edge".
"I think once the model is dressed...you'll do your job in the Men's Section. I'm Dick Lucas. It's short for Richard".
"Oh, welcome", Miss Brahms said...
...And smiled at the dapper...always late...Junior Menswear Assistant.
****
"Frankly, in my time, is important". Captain Stephen Peacock rubbed his chin. His thinning black hair was prominent; his eyes focused on Mrs Slocombe.
"Is there anything wrong?", he asked.
"No, Mister Peacock. But will Mister Grace be able to stand...he's...old". Her hair was like a peacock herself; her face was lined.
"Mister Grace is old...that may be...but he owns the store. It is part of London's most elite places to shop for trousers, skirts, and other attire...at reasonable pounds. If we let the hippies come here...they'll end up scaring our clients off".
"The hippies are part of the young people's rebellion against Authority. Besides, it's the punk scene that causes amoral behaviour in kids. You see those ripped jeans? Terrible! £2.99 they are. And not a pound more".
"That may be...But I do suggest a proper, English, way of addressing the problems of today. Besides, Cuthbert Rumbold is ignoring all scandals".
****
"Is his Office open? Or does Miss Devonshire too busy to tell you".
"Miss Devonshire is a lady of manners. And she is his secretary. And she works hard to do her duty".
And he strode off...and headed back to his Office in the Management Department...where all of the most important matters...as well as meeting...were held in the massive Meeting Room.
****
Dick Lucas looked at Miss Brahms.
"Fancy a date?", he asked.
"Not likely".
"Why not? All of...".
"No".
"If you change your mind...I'll be in the Men's Section". And he walked past the models...and wondered if she'd change her mind.
****
"The idea...as it were...has...Oh, we have a customer. Dick, can you take over the front desk?", Mister Humphries smirked.
"Oh, right!".
And he flashed a smile at Miss Brahms...and attended to a male customer.
*
The small man shook his head.
"I need a suit".
Dick nodded.
"At Grace Bros.we sell all kinds of trousers, suits, shoes...socks...".
"A suit, man!".
And he nodded once more...while the client noticed one that he liked.
****
"It's a sale, £4.99".
"That much?", the customer said.
"Yes, but the quality is the best in England".
"Fine, I'll go chnage in the Fitting Rooms".
"Of course, Sir", Dick said.
And he was grinning so much...that he dropped the tape on the ground.
****
"Coming through! Got new packaged good for Grace Bros.", Don Mash, 53, the Head of Maintenance & Packaging said.
His greying hair was marked by the lines of his face; his blue eyes focused on the Men's Section. His grey coloured suit was pressed clean; his brown trousers was stained from coffee stains; his black socks was crumpled; his black shoes was polished; his silver Rolex watch was on the left, middle finger; his wedding ring was on his right, middle finger.
"Take it to the Men's Section", Mister Humphries informed him.
"Fine...Got a lot of deliveries this morning".
And he grabbed a pen...as Mister Humphries signed for the packages...And left Don Mash to go about his work.
****
Lunchtime
Cuthbert adjusted his glasses.
His balding head gleamed in the dim Office.
His glasses read the note.
Due to the mistake in the Men's Section...prices are now lower than normal. Conseqently, in the event of problems, this error will be corrected by 7:00 PM tomorrrow night.
_Signed, Mister Grace
January 4, 1972
Page 2.
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Grace Bros
FanfictionWelcome to Grace Bros, London, England, 1972. The place where sales are done by sleight of hand; where comic scenes of PC behavior is met with derision...And everyone is silly. The new "Are You Being Served?", comedy fan fiction novel by Robert Hell...