I'm not gay

Why are you still here

-you tossed and turned all night thinking about the character and what your best friend said you knew that you still liked girls and you definitely found zendaya attractive you were just scared of how the world would look at you but something was telling you to do it 10 minutes late you picked up your phone from your dresser and checked Instagram where you say people like your pictures and tagging you in videos you clicked the video to see what it was about and it was title "10 reasons why I believe Y/N is gay or at least bi" which made you panic so you put your phone down and walked to the restroom.....you let out a breath opened your cabinet and grabbed your toothbrush and toothpaste you began to brush your teeth and bent down to spit where you were startled by seeing your best friend stretching behind you-

"Yo wtf" you say dropping you tooth brush and turning around "why are you still here"

"I feel asleep watching schitts creek and when I woke up it was 3 in the morning and you know I have bad eyes at night" she said as you turned back around and finished brushing your teeth

"Oh girl you almost got shot" you said finally finishing brushing your teeth and returning everything to the cabinet and walking into your room

"With what gun" she said grabbing a new toothbrush and toothpaste out the cabinet

"If I tell you where it is it defeats the purpose of it being hidden" you said getting back into bed checking your phone "hey do I have anything scheduled for today" you asked

"You have studio time from 8pm-3am and I hope you use that time to finish that album you've been working on" she said looking at you from the bathroom

"I will but that's it" you asked

"Yah manly then you gotta remember parts of that script z sent you so you be ready for the audition.....it on Monday by the way" she said as she spit

"I'll have by decision by this Monday so Ill think I'll be ready for next Monday" you said

"No this Monday"she said as your eyes got big

"As in 3 days from now Monday" you said leaning your head back " oh my fucking good Y/B/N it's Friday I don't even know if I wanna do it what if I forget my lines what if I get starstruck in front of omg" you said rambling struggling to breath

"Hey hey hey" your best friend said running out the restroom trying to comfort you "if you choose to do it your gonna be great okay anything you put your mind to you can do it did you forget who you are get up" she said grabbing you out the bed dragging you into the restroom "look at yourself you have wrote songs with Beyoncé, you've been on every magazine cover from vogue to cosmopolitan, you've shared stages with icons, Rihanna called you the best of the new school" your best friend said kinda cheering you up

"I know but I didn't do all that with zendaya or playing a gay character" you said

"Are you homophobic or something" she asked
As you turned facing her

"Girl what how can I be homophobic when I'm hom- " you said cutting yourself off realizing what you've said

"Exactly look I don't know why it's such a big deal for you anyway all your accolades have nothing to do with who you find attractive you are an amazing artist and person" she said

"Ik I just don't know how my family will take it and I'm just not in the mental space to do that right now" you said walking back into your room

"Look I understand you don't have to do this" your best friend said following you

"But I want to zendaya has been my crush and role since shake it up I don't want to miss this opportunity to work with her and potentially be her love interest " you said holding your head in confusion

"We then do it" she said holding your head up

-and for some reason that statement stayed with you for the rest of the day if I wanna do something why can't I just do it without worrying what everybody else is gonna say if my family wanna start treating me differently bc I like girls then that's between them and god but ima live my life for me and do what I think is best for my career and I think that this show could really help my career-

-two hours later you and your best friend were getting ready to head to the studio-

"Im gonna do it" you said looking at the mirror at your outfit

"Do what" your best friend asked while in the bathroom doing her make up

"I'm gonna do the show" you said look at her

"Yesssssss" she said jumping onto you

"Eww move your gonna get makeup on my hoodie" you said smiling

"I'm so proud of you" she said smiling at you

"Yah ima invite z to the studio to let her know ima do it and so she can explain this character more to me shit know that I think about it I don't even know the title of the show" you siad

"Oh Ik" she said as you looked confused

"How do you know" you said folding your arms

"Well I kinda already knew that you were gonna say yes to doing it so I called the director and asked about the show" she said

"Girl your annoying.. so give me the details" you said sitting on the bed

"Well I don't know much about your character but it's a show directed by a guy named San Levinson and it's produced by drake" she said

"Oh shit drakes in it that's live" you said

"Yah so the story is about Sam Levinson he had a drug addiction and it's basically telling his life story"
She said

"Wow so this is gonna be something deep" you said

"Yep that's why I wanted you to do it so bad you can play these types of roles your not playing as Sam levinsons character but all the character have some deep stuff going on from what he could tell me" she said

"Oh well yah now I definitely wanna do it" you said