(don't worry the naehinahara is in the next part)
tw: transphobic slur used against hajime, self-deprecation, self-hatred kinda?
I watch Chiaki carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We're waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she'd meet them on a beach at sunset or something.
"I mean that's ok...these things can't always be romantic, I guess...I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it's not like you can plan it to be romantic...I just hoped...I mean everyone hopes...don't they?" she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly.
"Sorry...It's just a big day for me you know." Yes, I do know. You've been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.
"Don't worry. You nervous? You'll be ok, you always are," I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It's selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. Right now, in precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.
She smiles at me, but it isn't quite reaching her eyes. She's restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can't imagine. I haven't seen Chiaki move this much while sitting down...ever, actually. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.
"Hey. I'll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I'll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me," I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. "Good luck." I hope it sounded sincere.
The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She's shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn't interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it's full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can't see anyone else at the bus stop. But she's only 18, she can't end up with a 80 year old.
I turn around and look at her - she's wringing her hands. The bus driver asks if she's ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it's more of a grimace.
I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.
Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a girl jumps on the bus. She has that same frantic look in her eyes and she's breathing hard. I breathe out with relief. She extends her hand, giving her ticket to the driver with trembling hands.
"Yeah, get on, we're running late," the driver says dismissively, taking her ticket. The girl looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. She's around average height, with long, choppy purple hair. She's got bandages wrapped around her arms and is shaking so hard, she looks like she's going to trip over her own feet any second.
4 seconds
She spots Chiaki.
3 seconds
Her eyes widen as she walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.
2 seconds
Chiaki stands up too, that same rope tying her to the other girl.
1 second -
"I-I'm so sorry! I-I tripped and n-nearly missed the bus...Please forgive me! I-I'm sorry for asking, b-but are you my s-soulmate? N-no, wait, never mind, I don't deserve someone like you—oh gosh, I shouldn't have even s-spoken...I'm sorry!" she stutters, as her eyes fill with tears. What is up with this chick...?
Chiaki places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's okay...breathe. I think we're soulmates...and you don't need to be sorry...besides, I'm not that great either...My name is Chiaki Nanami...what's yours?"
"M-mikan Tsumiki."
Mikan smiles weakly as they both sit down together. I can't hear what they're talking about.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly, I'm crying. Hot tears drip down my cheeks.
I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it, as I have so many times before. That ugly, dark, meaningless mark marring my skin.
The number has never changed.
It's always been a 0.
It's because you were born wrong. A freak of nature. You got your soulmate killed because the universe realised that no one could love you. The universe itself decided to punish a tranny like you for existing. You'll never be a real boy. Gods you're pathetic. I clutch my head, squeezing as though I could squash the voices away.
Stop...please...I've heard your voices outside my head for so many years...why do you have to come back and haunt my thoughts? You've already abandoned me...so why do I still hear your voices in my head?!
"Come back when you're ready to be my daughter again."
No...I feel nauseous. I get off the bus at a random stop, quickly texting Chiaki to say that she should stay with Mikan. I find the nearest bathroom and lock myself in a stall, sinking to the floor and burying my head in my knees.
You're nothing but a useless, broken girl.
Broken boy.
Broken nonetheless. And even the universe agrees that you shouldn't exist...why don't you listen to it for once?
YOU ARE READING
random danganronpa oneshots
Fanfictiondanganronpa has taken over my life so have this -SPOILERS FOR ALL GAMES. -Trigger warnings will be at the top of every chapter -This book is very gay, if you don't like it then don't read it -Lots of swearing; this universe has Mondo and Fuyuhiko wh...
