Love UnHeard || SeongJoong [Ateez]

[Part A] 6. Put it together asshole.

"I'm dumb... I'M AN ASSHOLE!" I shouted at myself once I got up my dorm. My head hurt from being this stupid. "WHY WOULD SOMEONE MAKE UP THAT HE'S DEAF? THE LIE WOULDN'T HOLD UP MORE THAN TWO DAYS! THAT'S WHY IT IS TRUE. THE RICH GUY IS DEAF!" I walked in circles doing all kinds of movements with my arms.

"I WAS NOT LOOKING WHERE I WAS GOING, THEN WE JUST BARGED INTO EACH OTHER. IT WAS NO ONES FAULT. BUT I WAS SO ANGRY THAT DAY I LET IT ALL OUT WITH HIM! HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I'M INSANE!" Little by little my dense and ignorant brain connected the dots.

"Of course he didn't say sorry! HE PROBABLY CAN'T TALK OR IS SHY ABOUT IT! That's why his friend was so mad at me!" I clapped my hands.
"Then the other friend came to me and asked to say sorry, because I was obviously being an asshole... But I, again, was to blind to see it."

I sat down on my bed. My mind kept thinking about it.

When that mean dude asked me not to look at Mr.Money Prince at the cafeteria, when he called me poor, when he flexed all his money on me... He was just acting as I did, judging me for my background and looks. Just how I did to them.

Every time I saw someone with a moderate amount of money I classified them in this closed box: Arrogant, selfish, uncaring, mean... When I was being exactly the same. Not because I saw them below me, but because I let myself think I was. It's jealousy, I'm jealous of their perfect families, environment and relationships.

But their reality is not that. At least for Yeosang and the tall rich guy--I honestly don't remember what names he said.
One was deaf, and the other didn't have money.
Actually, now that I think about it, the only one to disrespect me was the bleached bangs guy to defend his friend. The other two approached me in a friendly manner, but my shitty behaviour made both mad at me too. Mr.Money Prince didn't even come close to me, so why was I so mad at him?

"Of course I was! I'M BRAINLESS." I collapsed on my bed. How can I fuck things up this big in such a short time...

It was late already, and after all that thinking I wasn't used to do I just passed out in the spot.

-

Sunday morning looked warm and calm, a little breeze brushed the treetops. You could see it from my window. Birds chirped when I opened it, some people where already down in the park having breakfast or with their friends, things I wasn't allowed to do today. First because I woke up too late and the cafeteria was already closed. And second because if you remember, I don't have friends here.

Something inside me told me I could trust Yeosang in a way, but my heart was not ready to face him yet. I should get things clear first.
And where was a better place to clear your mind other than the amazing skate park?

I got dressed in no time with my used light brown cargo pants, a big ass shirts that went down my thighs and my 4 year old vans--I used the old ones for skating don't think I wear this old ones everywhere, the newer ones where just 2 years old (I bought them myself).

The way there was beautiful, I saw vintage stores, cute coffee shops and stunning houses.
For once I somehow felt this place was how I initially thought: Life, people, movement. Instead of me trapped in the dorm.
The streets were alive, people everywhere... And somehow that's what I loved seeing, people's smiles and big gardens. You know, that's why I loved travelling on top of the board. It brought me peace. I disconnect from every worries and just watch others.

I finally arrived to my destination, unfortunately the guys from the other day were here again too (along with other poeple). I wondered if it was okay for me to practice here. Since the last time I did they talked to me and then run away. Should I enter? Hopefully they won't remember me.

I pushed my board shyly, ignoring any eye contact. My try became useless when the Australian dude shouted at me making me loose balance and fall down the pool (not an actual pool, one for skating obv).

He tried to catch me but it was too late, my ass had already slammed the hard floor. He gave me a hand and took me out of there right before a child on a scooter could pass me over. I patted my butt in pain, say goodbye to sitting straight for the next three days.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to say hi" The guy scratched his nape with his unique friendly smile. Friendly...

A friend! Maybe we could be friends. Okay don't fuck this up. I thought before talking. "Oh, it's no problem. I just got scared, didn't saw you there" I lied.

"Did you got hurt?"

"Ah- a little, I think my training for today has been cancelled after this" I showed a painful expression.

"Omg I'm so sorry! Seriou-" My stomach groaned loudly while he talked. He snapped his fingers, just like if a bulb lighted on his head "I know how to apologise! Let me invite you to breakfast, you sound hungry".

My cheeks went red, this was so embarrassing... But, I was really hungry. "O-okay, if it's okay with you". The other just nodded and started walking to a place I couldn't guess.

-

"Here we are" He stopped on his tracks and I looked to the place. A cute coffee called 'Wonderland'. I squinted my eyes to see what was inside from the big window, I regretted it immediately.

"We. Can. Not. Eat. Here" I said turning around in my heels.

"Wait- Why?" The guy seemed confused. I just grabbed him far away from that place. I was not eating there.

"Hey hey, what's wrong with that place? My friend's family runs it" He tried stopping me. I did once we cornered the street.

"Look, it's just- There were people inside whom I'm not in friendly terms with" I explained with a hint of anger in my tone.

"Ooh! You are the bad type?" He moved his brows in a funny way. Is he okay?

"No! I mean... I don't know. I just don't want to see them right now" I said walking back to the skate park. He followed right behind.

"Why don't you solve it now? Its the perfect time!" he kept going.

"No! And stop it, I don't want to. Period."

"What a shame, I was flirting with you but those guys ruined your mood. I guess you are not into me" My eyes opened widely. He what now? I didn't keep walking and he crushed with my back.

"I'm sorry what did you just say?" I turned as stiff as a rock to look at him. Stem coming out of my ears.

"Yooo chill dude I was: Just Kidding. No need to get aggressive. I already have a partner."

That's a nice fact, but peace tell me one person here who asked. "Ah, that's nice" I smiled awkwardly at him.

"You know man, I think I'm heading back home now. See ya soon! We are all Saturdays at the skatepark" He waved goodbye at me at that cross walk. Quickly turning and running somewhere.

Did I scare him too? Was I mean? How do people make friends here?! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!

I headed back home, not sure of what to do. If I keep it like this, it's going to be impossible to make friends. I'm awkward, annoying and sometimes mean without realising it. Also my self stem has been down since I got here, so I was pretty fucked up.

I needed a plan, how can I make myself respected again? Not fear of?

My brother always told me: If you have a problem, you have to get rid of it from the root. Just like when some random guy is going after you trying to get 300 bucks. To defeat him and not give him the 300 bucks you should go to the dealer itself and stab--as a warning-- to make them leave you alone.

Okay maybe my brother's way of explaining things wasn't the neatest but I understood what he wanted to say.

If people didn't like me because I hurt the deaf guy, I should apologise to him. That's it! That's easy!