it had been a rough few months for donald john trump, he had loved and he had lost. he lost the election and was hated by many, but none of that mattered anymore. He had the two men he loved the most, nothing could be better. carl and wallace had made peace, his once foe was now his scrumptious lover.
Donny took off his orange foundation and toupee, hanging it on his coat rack. he hopped into his twins sized bed, sandwiched between his two beautiful men. wallace was half asleep and carl reading a book about himself.
"where should we go next?" donald asked his lovers. "russia is nice but polygamous marriage isnt recognized" he made sad don noises.
"we dont have to be married to be happy" carl said thoughtfully. "we can always get married here, and move to russia."
"were married in our hearts." wallace said sleepily.
"that is good." trump said, turning over to wallace. "where is russia btw"
"boiiiiii, werent you president." carl said questionably.
"sorry, i failed geometry." don said nonchalantly.
"... huh?" wallace said.
"oh, geology."
"he means geography, boo." carl said
"yeah, that." donnie said.
carl put his book down, they turned the lights down, snuggling up.
"i love you bebes." wallie said in a uwu voice.
and they all went to sleep.
«—————————————————————————————————»
they woke up the next day, deciding to get married at trump tower in ny.
they got on a private jet, flying slowly in order to eject more fossils fuels. fuck the environment.
all dressed and ready, they started immediately. covid and wall stood at the front with their officiator, melania.
the music started. katy perrys "i kissed a girl" played as don walked down the aisle. he wore his big sparkly ball gown and orange high heels to match his complexion, his two grooms broke down at the sight of their beloved.
as donnie walked down, he began to sob. he saw all of his, not friends, but all the people he knew!
there was the tall bastard that brought his amazing carl, his personal assistant kylee, she didnt look very happy to say the least. and then there was pat. we dont know pat but we appreciate him.
don got to the end, and his men were bawling, they lifted his sparkly veil and held hands.
"oke, bitches." melania said, "lets marry these creatures." she sat down her doobie. "do yous take yous in holy macaroni?"she asked
"i do" wallie said.
"i do" carl said.
"mmm, macaroni." don said licking his licks "i do"
"then i pronounce you married fucks." melania picked up her doobie, and flew off in her jetpack.
carl, wallace, and donald trump all kissed, smooching for what felt like ages.
"uhh" kyrie said "its been 20 minutes, should we stop them."
"no" pat said simply. eating popcorn and watching the make out session intently.
mike pence sat behind them with his boyfriend kai.
"this is beautiful."
"when we get home can i eat your shit?" kai the fly asked his mikey pence.
"only if i get to eat it too!!!!" mike said to his strong manly fly.
kamala and joe were live streaming this monstrosity.
the live chat was as followed:
kamala harris: bet you asses glad we won now LOL
joe biden: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
bernie sanders: this aint it chief
obama: LOL, bet yall bitches miss me
kamala: yesss kween @obama
aoc: 💅💅👑👑👑 @obama
vlad putin: 🖕you ruin ze russia plan
barron trump: you think you can hurt my feelings, thats my daddy up there 🤪
obama: 😔✊ #survivor @barrontrump
finally, they stopped eating each others faces.
they started walking down the aisle again.
"guys i think this is where we assault them with the rice" kyrie took out her bag of rice.
"yesss" kylee said, fixing her stetson above her head. "boooo, thays for the 200,000 + americans you killed" she threw her rice at covid.
"um, chile" carl said "i least i aint a simp"
kylee was ready to throw fists but they were already gone. pat was already gone. it was later revealed that they were wanted for treason in france.
the wedding was beautiful. the three men lived happily ever after in russia, occasionally engaging in an orgy with putin.
the end
(co-author note: kyrie wrote everything as boys so i changed it to men, because they are some manly men)
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| infectious love |
Romancea 2020 love story: donald trump was not your ordinary man, thus he didn't have an ordinary love life. rejected by his eurasian wife and kids, he finds new love in the most extraordinary places. his best friend of 4 years, wallace the wall and his ne...
