Observant

3: Safety first

"Did you remember to pack the charcoal tablets in your bag?"

"Charcoal tablets? What are they for?"

"They're used as a safety precaution. You can take them when you're at a party or event and you suspect you've been drugged. Taking one tablet will counter the effects of a date rape drug."

"Woah okay I didn't know that thanks, its sad how we're living in world where girls can't just out and have a good time without being in danger of getting raped or kidnapped."

"Exactly and it's not like we go to dodgy places, these things happen at places where the majority of the people there are students like us, it's as if these people target young girls." Palesa's face changed it reflected feelings of pain and slight anger.

I can tell that this topic is close to her heart and I can also tell that she's just as passionate about speaking about the gender based violence going on in South Africa. (as if she had been personally affected by GBV or she knows someone who has been affected by it).

"True and it's not just young girls, its women in general."

"To be specific, women in South Africa have a higher chance of getting sexually assaulted than any other woman in the world. The amount of gender based violence cases reported each day and each year compared to the rest of the world are unbelievable."

"What's even worse is that not all cases are reported, after getting sexually assaulted a large number of women will be too scared to speak out because they would have been either intimidated or threatened by the perpetrator."

"Yeah, some are even killed. Honestly men in South Africa need to do better."

"I feel as though the first step to change is getting the other side to listen. Toxic masculinity is the root of gender based violence."

"These men feel the need to assert some sort of authority over their lovers and women around them and if that authority is not acknowledged, they establish it by using violence and fear. They feel that hitting the woman will get them the respect and power they crave."

"True, inflicting pain is not a way to get someone to respect you, respect is earned and it has to work both ways."

"I once heard a quote, I forgot who said it. The lady said that men shouldn't ask women how to do better because they are not the perpetrators."

"That is a powerful quote, men need to redefine what it means to be a man.
If they didn't feel threatened by women they wouldn't feel the need to limit her abilities (conform her) and hold her back. They could use their strength to build her and not break her down."

"Wow look as us talking about such a deep topic."

"Yeah, to think it all started with charcoal tablets."

Palesa then asked me what I'm wearing tonight and l have no idea what to wear. I don't know if l should go for my ususal skinny jeans, sneakers and t-shirt outfit or keep it simple with leggings and a denim jacket.

I think I'm overthinking this whole first party outfit. Going to the Fresher's Bash was Palesa's idea.

As a second year student, she took it upon herself to become my mentor and the person to show me where all the lit parties are.

Apparently the Fresher's Bash was the wildest and greatest party of the year.

I don't know about the wild part. I mean I'm a girl who grew up in church, always following the rules and l don't even drink alcohol or smoke weed so how is this going to work?

Anyway l still wanna go out and have fun. I don't need any of those to turn up and have a good time.

"So this is where you're hiding?" Palesa said as she entered the room with the tickets in her hand.

She was all dressed up and ready to go in black suede thigh high heels, a burgundy mini skirt, a Marvel t-shirt and a black leather jacket.

This is not the girl l met when l first when l moved in. Well, sort of. Anyway I'm not a person who likes to judge and she seemed reserved when l first met her so this new look was a surprise to me. She looks good though.

She helps me decide what to wear and l opt for black leggings, a light blue denim jacket, a black off shoulder top and my favourite black sneakers. I was in a good mood so l decided to do my make-up.

Nothing too dramatic. I just do my eyebrows, put on plum lipstick, long false lashes and topped it off with hoop earrings.

We're good to go.

Palesa calls a cab and we head to Sunrise sports grounds. That's where the music festival is going to be held. I heard all the hottest DJ's are going to be there. I can't believe this is my first music festival, I'm so excited.

We arrive at Sunrise sports grounds and its a great vibe. There's music playing extremely loud, neon lights, and different coloured flashing lights all around coming from behind the gates leading to the grounds.

I feel a bit disillusioned for a moment because I've never been to this type of scene.

Either way I'm still excited.
Inside the sports grounds there's a DJ playing on a stage on one side of the sports grounds and food stands and a lot of gazebos on the other side.

We meet up with Palesa's friends, there are two guys and one girl.

"Hey guys this is Kagiso-Dylan, KD this is Zenande, also known as Zee, Xoli and Lesego." Palesa said. I kept quiet because l must say, her guy friends are really good looking.

Focus Kagiso. l stop being a weirdo and l greet them.

"Hi, nice to meet you."

Lesego greets back in a deep voice as if speaking on behalf of the group. Something about his tone had power and demanded attention.

"I don't know about you guys but l really need a drink to really get me into the party mood." Xoli said.

Xoli seems like a fun person. I think her and l will get along pretty well.