collection of lost things

Reality

..

Run far away with no place to go to
isolate myself as soon as I need company
I fear the burden of my presence
The weight of my words,
the weight I feel crushing me now
How do I join words, how do I speak
How do I even make you laugh
how do I make you feel
How do I present as a human
How can I be human to you
Error and try but exist to someone
Comunicate that I'm here
not running away to lock myself in
not having the world having me ripped
as I am being ripped from the world

I'm foreign to my own reality
Forgot the language and the customs
Almost forgot the people,
distant memories in a tale, not reality
I'm just hanging around in some lone division of the skye
Trying to stay, to observe so I might reach onto you
But every stape I stumble
I can't seem to even be able
to put my feet on the ground
How do I walk when my feet fail to comply
I have a tongue but it can't say what I think
Can you help telling me I still exist?

..

My angel, there's times my mind gets so foggy I forget how to think, maybe that's why I can't believe I even exist, that these are my hands and I'm not floating in some random bedroom I can't recognize anymore.

You could say it's an artist look, one of childish like curiosity, but when I look at my hand wondering if it's made of flesh and bone or just fading shapes of light, I feel my mind slowly losing some control. Everything starts passing me by, like waves, various colours of different energies, the positive, the negative, above and below merging into a atmospheric crib where my mind is trapped. Colors, lights, merging like there had never been ordem, no one created individuality, it's all just a fuzzy stain of speed, dragging me, pushing me, if only I could hold on just a bit more to that moment when each color had its place, when melody wasn't just confused noise in a ceaseless deceptive dance. My senses are exploding. I need to grab myself, my feet are slipping

Inside I'm still suffocated in a closet with lights out so I can never find a way out.