Poems

Poem One

to all the ones
i’ve loved before, 
with your invisible fingers 
you paint masterpieces
on my brain
billion dollar smile
burning like a campfire 
against a late summer night
like, 
a firework on the Fourth of July, 
like, 
your caramelized eyes
tasting sweet when you lock them
with mine. 

to all the ones
i’ve loved before, 
i am no Beethoven, 
but you are my sonata, 
i write dancing under a butterscotch moon
with you
i am no VanGogh, 
but you are the starry night, 
i want to shape from my own hands
from my own words
Falling
    Out
        My 
            Own 
                Mouth 
            One
        By 
    One. 

swing like a jazz beat
to the groove of your shoes
on the tile in the hallway, 
whisper prayers to you
In a dark room, 
your heartbeat 
cupped in my palms, 
pushing up against
my veins. 
i feel you breathe, 
get lost in the movement
of your chest pushing and pulling air 
the lullaby 
i fall asleep to
every night

but only in my dreams 

50s queen
you stare at me 
from your bed, 
everywhere i look 
a ghost of you appears, 
the tears i want to sob
are lukewarm on my cheeks
paled while yours are on fire 
you walk like spring
and laugh like June
you smell like vanilla 
and a doctor’s office
you talk like heaven’s choir
gospel ringing in a church
once, 
the only religion I worshipped 
you are 
my beauty
you are
my curse
and i wonder
was my
i love you
the worst thing
you ever heard? 

to all the ones
i’ve loved before
without your rain
i am forever in drought
throat dry from 
the absence of your water
from
your slip of wet bliss
i am dehydrated 
when you are not 
pouring down on me 
and i cannot forget
your olive skin
smooth like gold
or the ambition you ate 
every morning for breakfast
to make yourself
the most badass chick
the world could ask for

i am the planet
you planted your flags on
then left to be hanging limp
in the windless atmosphere 
i am the bathroom stall
you scribbled a mark on
then left to be looked and laughed on
by many other passerby’s
until i fade away in time 
you are the last piece of candy
that i am trying to savor, 
suck up the sweetness
so it doesn’t sour into nothing
you are the lyrics to a song
i used to love but now hate
because i heard it so many times
but years in the future
i will love it again
this is years in the future 
i thought i hated you
both 
but i love you
both 
or just phantoms of you 
that will not stop haunting me in the dead of night

you shot me 
not once
you shot me
not twice
you shot me 
thrice
and so i cannot move
but i love you
yes, 
i love you