Just Him 18+

chapter 3

my name is kate sommerville and i lived the past almost four years wanting to kill myself. 

everyone that knows about it knows that it was a struggle for me but i choose to laugh it off on  the outside. i guess that makes me a coward. i just don't want people to see that i am weak.

someone called me heartless, and i think they maybe right. maybe i am heartless? 

it isn't my fault though...

//

i woke up everyday for my sophomore year of school, telling my parents that i wasn't hungry in the mornings. they would ask why i didn't bring a lunch to school and i would say that i ate the schools lunch. they would ask for the lunch bill and i would say that lunch is free because of the flood that happened last year. 

was any of that true?

yes, lunch was free because of the flood last year. doesn't mean that i ate it. 

every now and then yes i would get offered food by the people who i sate with at lunch, but for the most part they ignored me. which i enjoyed because i didn't  talk much anyway. i just appreciated that they let me sit with them at all. not they were the popular kids or anything like that. 

but thats the thing. in small schools like mine was, everyone knew everyone and everyone talked to everyone. except me. i was left out of this equation because i was tied to nick. everyone knew it but didn't say anything about it.

at this time i had been caught sneaking out with jess and my parents rightfully took my phone way. i didn't argue it, but just let it happen. so i interacted with no one. 

but when i did get my phone back you'll never guess the first person that i texted was? 

nick fucking henry.

i should have never done that because from that day on we talked a lot. he made me believe that he actually wanted a relationship with me.  he had me tied up and he was ready to to do what he was going to do to me. 

BUT! 

about a month in, he stopped talking to me. and i don't mean like he stopped flirting with me. i mean he stopped talking to me altogether. not a text or a word. he had completely blocked me and that was really it.

talk about devastation. 

i was completely and utterly crushed. and because he dropped out of high school i couldn't even talk to him at school.

**

somewhere around this time, i also got sick. and i mean really sick. it was still fall outside and the leaves were still changing colors and at home one night i had a pain. not the type of pain where you can right it off as a sore muscle or a growing pain. i mean the type of pain where it hurts to breathe. 

yet i didn't say anything. 

i didn't want to bother anyone even though it was getting worse by the minutes. i just kept to myself and tried to let in run its course but it didn't. 

so i called my mom. like on my phone because i couldn't walk. my mother being the nurse that she is tried to help me relieve the pain the best way she knew how. running a hot bath. because she wasn't thinking that i was hurting was much as i let on. and i don't blame her because 15 year olds can be dramatic. 

but i wasn't. 

because about an hour of me just actually screaming in  pain, both my parents decided to take me to the hospital. 

the nearest hospital from my house is 20 miles. so the trip in it's self was like twenty minuets. in those twenty minuets you will never guess what i did.