explore page [dylan kingwell]

47 | the reversal

it wasn't supposed to end like this.

dylan sat quietly in his seat beside his mom, dad, and sisters, hands shaking slightly as he stared at anything but the front of the room. the little crumpled piece of paper in his hands with messy sentences and incoherent words because he just couldn't think of anything good to write down. he wasn't even sure if he would be able to get up there and speak, not like this.

he was an actor, you'd think he'd have the guts to get up and talk in front of bunch of people, but his confidence was shaken at this moment in time, he just, couldn't. he didn't even know how hailey and avi had the guts to get up there and speak about something that's touched all of their hearts in ways they wouldn't even imagine. dylan unfolded the crumpled paper again trying to find anything he could salvage out to talk about. i mean, he had to at least try. he'd hate himself if he didn't at least try to talk. this was a vulnerable space at the moment and if he got caught up, people would understand and wouldn't make him continue, but then he would hate himself for not being able to continue.

all of his thoughts were pounding against his head, he couldn't think properly, so without a word, dylan carefully stood up and started trying to squeeze his way to the aisle. he would just step outside for a few moments to recompose himself and clear his head. dylan's mom casted a glance at him, dylan caught it and nodded towards the door to tell her where he was going. she nodded softly, squeezing his arm slightly before letting him out into the aisle. a few people glanced over at the boy but dylan kept his gaze on the floor in front of him.

he did catch alyssa's glance as he passed her for a quick moment and they shared a knowing look. dylan gave her a quick, empathetic smile, before he passed down her row towards the door. he pushed it open and the cool breeze hit his face right away. it was already sending a refreshing feeling through his body. dylan walked to take a slow seat on the edge of the sidewalk and he let himself blow a long breath out of his mouth. he picked at his pants, brushing some of the lint off of them before glancing down at his crumpled paper again. all he saw were words, bad sentences, and nothing to say. how the hell did people even do this? he crumpled the paper again before tossing it down onto the ground beside him for now.

"hey.." the soft voice startled dylan a little and he whipped his head around but his expression settled when he saw alyssa standing behind him a few feet away.

"hey.." dylan says giving her another small smile. she returns it before glancing at the spot beside him, an indication asking if she could sit. dylan nods, scooting over a little so there was room. alyssa lowered herself beside him and the two sat there in silence staring at the slight sunset in the horizon. the sky was darkening a little but a pink glow casted from the falling sun.

"how the hell did we end up here?" alyssa muttered more to herself but dylan knew she was also talking to him too. the dark-haired boy shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. he didn't know either.

"i don't know.." dylan mutters glancing at his feet while pulling his knees closer to his chest. there were so many questions still unanswered, still left wondering in everyone's heads. one minute it was perfect and the next it was like the whole world came crashing down onto them.

"i still wonder..if things could have been different..if we could have..prevented all of this." alyssa says speaking freely now and dylan was quick to put a hand on her shoulder for comfort. she casted her gaze in his direction.

"i know, me too..but sometimes things just happen and we can't prevent them. it's just the way the world works and we can't change it." dylan says with a small shrug. him and alyssa share a long glance, silently speaking to one another with their eyes knowing what each other was thinking.