𝙱𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚘 𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢 𝙳𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝚂𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚜!

Akutagawa x reader (Angst :'[ )

Okay uh
I'm bored
I'm on a bsd angst riot right now
So I'm doing this.
Also I haven't actually written proper fan fiction in fucking ages
So who knows if this is going to be good?
It's gonna be short, but I honestly just really want angst, but I've read all the fucking bsd angst that's on tumblr.
Also aku might be ooc but I'm gonna be honest, don't really care lmfao. I quit writing full fics because everyone was ooc so one time is fine :0

This doesn't mean I'm gonna write full things like this more often, this was like,,,,

A 16K SPECIAL AMSIMDJNFJNFA WOAAAHH
I DIDNT REALISE THIS BOOK WAS AT 16K
IVE ONLY HAD THIS BOOK SINCE LIKE END OF APRIL
THANK TOH ALL SO MUCH FOR 16K VIEWS I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEB WAAAAAA

Anyway enjoy this :')

T/W : Suicide ; Depression ; Mental Illness ; Anguish ; Desperation ; Angst ;
———
13:48
No new notifications.

It had been like this all day. It was weird, normally he'd get a message when he's having lunch, or a good morning text if he leaves before you woke up. Except today was different, no messages at all.. he tried not to think much of it, maybe you just forgot? You aren't compelled to message him. He had just grown use to it. He liked it.. but refused to admit it of course, admitting something like that would mean he's weak, he refuses to be weak, that's what Dazai taught him. Being weak something that is looked down on.

While he was on break, he decided it'd be a good idea to call you, check in on you and make sure everything is okay. He knew about your past with depressive thoughts, although he thought that was long past behind you now. It's still always a good idea to check up on people.

And so he called, what he was met with was just your voicemail.
"Maybe she just went out on errands and forgot her phone.. irresponsible.." he was hoping you would pick up. But you hadn't.

So he tried again in an hour, you still hadn't picked up. So another hour later, he called again.  This wasn't like him, he normally wouldn't call at all, it'd be surprising if he even sent a message while at work. There was a constant feeling of dread when he called, like something was terribly wrong, and it got worse and worse every time he called. Something was definitely wrong.. and he didn't like it.

He couldn't even leave early, he had to dreadfully wait until the time came where he left work..

20:34
No new notifications

There was still nothing, hours had gone passed and nothing. No second thoughts, he rushed home, he rushed home as fast as he could. It looked odd, a man in black rushing somewhere, with a face oh very stern. Because he couldn't show that he was feeling something he hasn't felt in who knows how long, he was scared. Scared for someone else.

The door was unlocked, this was very odd. They both always made sure the door was locked at all cost. It's just common sense to keep. Lights in the house were on, which also was odd. (You gotta saves power dudes turn the lights off 🔫🔫)  something definitely.. wasn't right. And he didn't like it. He walked into the kitchen, your phone was on the bench. And so he checked it to see if you had been on your phone at all today

20:57
8 new notifications
-missed call from Ryuu <3
-missed call from Ryuu <3
-,,,,,,
-,,,,,,,

They went on, indicating you hadn't been in your phone at all since there were notifications from early morning.

The spare bedroom light was on, but the door was closed.  Two thoughts were going through his head

Should he open it?
Should he leave it and check their bedroom?

The first thought over took the second.. he had to check. The same feeling of dread was back, the biggest pit in his stomach. Whatever was in the other side of that door.. wasn't good.

(Insert 'I gently open the door' memes)

He saw something no one ever would want to see.

Their loved one..

Hanging from the ceiling..

He fell to the ground, the pressure being to much. He wanted to cry.. he wanted to scream.. but he couldn't do either..

"Y/n.. god no.. please no.. this can't be happening.. it's all just a fucking nightmare.. t.. this can't.. no.. no. Why.. was I not enough.. I don't understand why.."

There was a picture right underneath you, meaning you were probably holding it before the chair was pushed from underneath you. It picture of him and you on your first anniversary day, sitting down in a quiet park. And on the back of it was a note. The writing was messy and smudged, wet stains on it. Both dried stains and fresh ones. He was crying. He couldn't not cry.. it was to much. Word after word that he read the more the tears would come out.

Your writing ensured that this wasn't because of him, the pressure of life itself became to much and you couldn't do it. None of this was his fault.

But now..

The only person he ever put his love into..

Was hanging infront of him..

————
Definitley didn't write this because I to, have thought about going out sayori style.
Alright I'll stop now I'm sorry. I hate myself :')
Lowkey actually kinda proud of this tho
For someone who hasn't written anything in awhile,,

Aight bye bros have fun with the rest of ur days and nights
And good luck with school
I hate school
School is dumb