Ferard One-shots

Why Do You Stay

Repost from my old account

(W: Self Harm)

Gerard's POV

I know I shouldn't have done it, I promised Frank I wouldn't, but here we are. I walk into the bathroom to wash them out, which stings like hell, but I'm used to pain, so I don't mind. I just look down at my body and cry, if only I could cut all the imperfections off, I wouldn't mind the scars, I just want to be less... me. I don't get a wink of sleep that night, I just sit there, and, well, cry. I dread going to school today, I don't want to see Frank, well more like, I don't want him to see me. I throw on layers of long sleeves and some pants, smudging black shadow around my eyes and making sure my hair looks nice and, unkempt.

I see Frank at our lockers, but try not to make eye contact.

"Hey Gee," He says.

"Hey," I whisper back.

"Are you ok babe," He asks.

"Yeah." I say, trying to avoid eye contact but not have my body language be too suspicious.

"Let's go to the bathroom," He says, sensing my tone and grabbing my arm, pulling into the bathroom.

"What is it?" He says, in a more serious tone, but still a gentle and caring one.

"I just, I did something that will make you mad," I say quietly, subconsciously grabbing my wrist.

"I really didn't mean to, I should have called you I know, but... I-I didn't, I just needed this."

He just looks at me, confused, then slowly looks down at my arm, his eyes widening as he asks,

"Gee, did you?"

I look down as he snatches my left arm from me and pulls my sleeves up. He gasps at the deep, bloody cuts and just says,

"W-why did you do it."

"I just didn't know what else to do," It's true... I didn't.

"You could have called me, I would have come over right away!" He says.

"No! I know I'm a burden! You will never understand how this feels, and that's ok, but I now you're only with me because you feel bad for me. So just leave me, just leave."

He looks devastated,

"Do you really want me to leave you, because I love you, I love you so much, doesn't matter how stupid you can be, I love you, I really do. So I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."

"I love you too, but I just want you to be happy, and I don't make you happy." I say.

"Are you kidding me!? You make me so happy, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have you, I really do love you."

I don't say anything, I was expecting him to have walked away already. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart, I just didn't think he really did back.

"Are there any more?" He asks softly.

I take him into a stall to drop my pants and show him my thighs, he just gasps and looks like he's about to cry. He drops to his knees and puts his head down, grabbing the backs of my thighs and hips. He kisses them. He sits there and gently kisses each and every one of the cuts. He's so gentle and loving, neither of us say anything, we both just sit there and cry.

When he's done with my thighs, he stands up, his hands trailing the back of my body. His hands are around my back when he leans down and kisses me softly. He pulls away and puts his nose to mine, our tears colliding before coming all the way down our cheeks.

"Promise me you won't do it again," He says.

"I promise."

...

He stays by my side for the rest of the day, and insists on coming home with me. He holds my hand during the drive home, and finally lets go when we get in the house. We do our homework quietly, then immediately go into my room. We close the door and jump into my bed. And we just lay there, we lay there and cuddle, our arms around each other and one of his legs in between mine, which he eventually starts to move gently, causing me to whimper softly. He starts to tease me a bit when his hands go down my back to rest on the lowest place they can, and his head is resting in my neck, so he I can feel his hot breath against it, and eventually his teeth grabbing the skin and softly pulling. I pull my head away from his, so I can look at him and kiss his lips. He turns us around so I am on top of him, our bodies tight against each other.

We just lay there, and kiss. We eventually pull away and I nestle my head is his neck, saying a quiet,

"I love you."

"I love you too."

(808 words)