I sat on the branch and tried to slow my breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to think of where to go. Grandmother probably called the police, considering how I wasn't home...I can just say that I was over a friend's house? I thought.
"You don't have friends."
Shut up! I'm trying to think! You're the reason I'm in this mess!
I sighed and climbed down. I was still slightly panting, but I need to keep moving. I lightly jog for a while, then walk. I realize I'm still in Jeff's clothes. I can just say I snuck off to my boyfriend's house. She will believe me, but I will be punished. My shoe caught on a root and I tripped. Checking myself for dirt, I walked off. After hours, I came to a clearing. I recognized the street, but it was a while from my grandma's house. I walked along the sidewalks until I reached the house. Taking a deep breath, I walked inside.
The regret was almost instant. She began to yell and scream, asking where I was. "Well...Grandma...I'm really sorry, but... I went to my boyfriend's house for the night. We didn't do anything, I promise." I said, nervously. She gasped and grabbed my hair and whacked my head on the table. I groaned and apologized again. She sighed and placed her finger under my chin, saying "You had me worried sick! Why didn't you leave a note?!" I just shook my head. "I was your age once too. I know what it's like being 16. But you have to be careful!" I nodded and hugged her. She told me to go up to my room and change, and I did, into a large t-shirt that hangs off me and black jeans.
I popped on a hoodie and looked out the window. There was a low thud from downstairs. I walked down to see what happened and saw my grandmother at the doorway, trying to get her shoes on holding a casserole. I took the casserole from her and she gave a thankful smile. "I'm going to Ms. Wilson's...It's Thursday night, you know," She said, pulling her shoes on. I stopped dead, my smile vanishing into thin air. She goes to Ms. Wilson's house every Thursday night with a meal and they both watch soap operas together and talk. "No...You can't do that..." I said. "And just why not?" She said, placing her hands on her hips and looking at me. "Ms. Wilson...She...The Casserole... it's... no..." I mumbled. Why can't I lie swiftly like earlier? She will find the body! "Well young lady, I am going whether you like it or not." She snapped, grabbing the casserole from me. "No, you're fucking not!" I shouted, the same anger backing my voice from the bathroom when Jack and Jeff were fighting. She stared at me, shocked, confused, hurt, and angry all at the same time.
"Kill her."
I grabbed the hook from the old coathanger and ripped it off, without thinking. I drove it into her abdomen, causing her to scream in sheer pain. "I'm sorry...I can't help it!" I said over and over. Tears were streaming down my face as I stabbed her again and again. I drove it into her skull next, then her throat, trying to silence the pained screams. At last, she fell silent as her heart stopped. Blood was all over us, soaking the floor. I gasped and looked down at my bloody, shaking hands. I slowly walked to the bathroom. It felt like I was in a dream, I have no control over what I did. When I arrived, I looked in the mirror.
My...My eyes! Fuck! What the fuck!
They were...blank! No pupil, no iris, only white and blood vessel. I was soaked in blood. Still in the dream like trance, I stepped in the shower with all of my clothes still on. I turned the water on cold and sat down, the water chilling me to the bone. Suddenly the trance was gone. Realization sunk in. I began to sob even harder, scraping my arms with my short fingernails until they bled. I rocked back and forth, shivering.
It was an accident! I didn't want to! I didn't mean to! I-I killed her! Fuck...Fuck...Fuck...
