Falling // Wolfstar

Nineteen

"I reckon she dreams about him," fifth year Hufflepuff, Marissa Pierce, whispers as she brushes out her golden hair in the mirror. "The way she stares at him in class aught to be enough for a restraining order!"

The other girls standing around giggle.

"Pathetic, really," Lucy Amall comments; she puckers her lips to reapply her lip gloss.

A dark haired girl leaning against the sink hands her mascara off to Marissa and shrugs. "Don't blame her though, Regulus Black is fit. Have you seen the way he walks? You know he's packing."

The girls burst into laughter again.

"You know who's way hotter?" Lucy asks with a smirk. "His brother."

"Sirius is so fine, and that's on Merlin."

Marissa rolls her eyes, twisting the top of the mascara tube shut. "Poor bloke can't catch a break with little Miss "Pick Me" always trudging behind him. Does she think she actually has a chance with either of them?"

"Maybe he has a thing for little girls who wear ribbons in their hair," Lucy suggests between laughs.

The girls turn to her, sharing a look before laughing again. High pitched squeals and the sound of shoes shuffling against the tiled floor echo to silence. The sun shines down through the windows of the lavatory as the day continues on.

It's hard to put into perspective how little things matter. The sun rises and sets and will continue until the end of time. A few girls gossiping in the bathroom, in a castle, on a continent made of rock and dirt, on a larger rock floating in the middle of space, in a galaxy, and so on, is less than a blip in time. Of course, none of that matters when all you've ever known is living on that small rock and that castle is your entire world.

The door of the last stall in the lavatory creaks open. Frances pokes her head out of the stall with a wary glance, brushing her hand against her tear stained cheeks. Her hair is in two french braids tied off with pink ribbons. She stands in front of the mirror, letting the cold water rush out of the faucet straight into the drain. Her trembling hands rub together with foaming soap slipping between her fingers. It's not the first time she's heard those words, nor will it be the last. She dries her hands and tosses the towel into the bin with one last look in the mirror. Straighten the skirt, fix the tie, and smile.

Frances smiles in the mirror, though her eyes glisten under the light. "You're doing just fine, Frances," she whispers to herself.

Students rush past in the corridor getting to their classes before the final bell. Frances immerses herself into the middle of the chaos and heads off to DADA. Her chin is up and her smile is on. Sometimes you just have to fake it 'til you make it.

Until it all comes crashing down.

*

*

*

Remus' eyes are fixated on the words when he stumbles into a pillar. Shaken, he jumps back and glances around nervously to make sure nobody saw that. Of course, with just his luck, somebody had.

"Alright over there Remus?" Davy asks.

Remus chuckles embarrassedly, hiking his bag higher up on his shoulder. "Suppose I shouldn't read and walk at the same time," he answers.

"Whatcha got?"

"Just some mail." Remus folds up the letters and puts them into his bag while they continue to walk towards the Great Hall.

"And the memory?"

"Still coming along. The boys say I'm remembering more, although it's hard to tell."

"My offer still stands, if you need any help."

Remus nods when an idea strikes him. "Actually, you don't happen to know much about Abigail McHealy, do you?" He takes a pause in his step, turning to face Davy with a hopeful look.

Davy's eyebrows furrow as he ponders the familiar name. "I know of her, can't say I know much. Except for the fact that you two dated for a long time, right?"

"Well, yes, I remember that we dated, but I don't know why we broke up or why she's left exactly..."

"All I know is that you two spent an awful lot of time together and then you didn't. From an outsiders perspective, I heard rumors about cheating and then all the sudden she was expelled before the end of sixth year."

Remus stands up straighter, the words caught in his throat. "E-expelled?"

"The professors kept it under wraps, but students still found out."

Remus swallows the lump in his throat, feeling very pale. Expelled was definitely not what he was expecting to hear. "Right, thanks Davy. I'll see you at book club." He awkwardly claps a hand on Davy's shoulder before rushing away to the tower. His feet nearly trip over themselves as he takes the stairs two at a time up to the Fat Lady.

"Pumpkin Pasties," he announces loudly.

The Fat Lady sees Remus but is much too preoccupied with the wine glass in her hand.

Irritated, Remus lets out a heavy sigh. "I said -"

"I heard you this first time," the Fat Lady remarks.

The portrait swings open and Remus rolls his eyes. "Then why didn't -" His heels are clipped by the portrait swinging closed on him rather quickly. "Blimey!"

Now irritated and slightly beaten by a portrait, Remus flings himself onto his bed the second he enters the dorm. "Bloody portrait swinging! Fucking memory loss. Expelled my arse!" he shouts in a long fury. His bag slips off his shoulder onto the floor with a thud. It seems just as things are starting to sort themselves out, something comes along and drags him right back to square one.

Remus plants his face into his pillow and lets out a scream that lasts a good minute straight. He lifts his head after a moment to collect himself, when he hears a noise from across the room. Immediately he sits up and turns to see Peter sitting at the desk with a magazine in hand. Their eyes connect for a brief second before Remus glances away red in the face.

"Erm you saw all of that, didn't you?" Remus asks sheepishly.

Peter's eyes widen and he flips the page of his magazine. "Not if you didn't want me to," he replies.

Remus lets out a deep breath. "Right...thanks mate." He slowly grabs his bag from the floor and swipes his curtains shut. Under the shaky lighting of his wand propped between his teeth, Remus pulls out the letter he'd been waiting for all week. It smells sickeningly sweet with just a sparkly outline of lips in the bottom right corner. Remus examines the letter, sniffing the lip print with a grimace. He knew that lip gloss all too well.

Remus,

I'd be more than glad to tell you everything that's happened. I'm sure nobody will tell you because they're all ashamed of how things went down at the end of 6th year. It's terrible and I wish you didn't have to relive it. In honesty...it all started at the beginning of 6th year when your old roommate Martin moved out and Sirius Black took his place. Trouble right from the start. I wish we could talk instead of these letters. Perhaps we could through the fireplace?

Let me know.

I love you always,

Abigail Xx

Remus' eyes scan the letter three times over before he sets it aside.

Peter continues looking at the pictures of modern home decor in his magazine when he sees out of the corner of his eye Remus' hand shoot out from the hangings. Remus blindly reaches for his trunk when his head pops out to finally see his surroundings. When he looks up, Peter immediately stares back down at his magazine.

Within a minute Remus is back in the comfort of his bed with his notebook and other letters from Abigail. Not once does the word "expelled" appear. Davy would've just make something like that up, would he?

He steadies an ink bottle on his knee as he grabs a new piece of parchment to begin a new letter:

Dear Abigail...