Falling // Wolfstar

Thirty Seven

Sodapop nips at a cracker, spreading his wings out when Remus' strokes his back. Owls soar overhead, finding a nice nook to rest in. Remus leans over the ledge and feeds another cracker to Sodapop.

"It must be nice, huh," Remus speaks, peering over at Sodapop. "Being able to fly wherever you'd like." Sodapop lets out a soft hoot. "Don't suppose you're up for another letter, are you?"

Remus reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small envelope. He runs his finger over the black ink that reads Abigail McHealy. It took him forever to find the right words; he spent half the night under his wand light formulating the perfect letter.

"This is for Abigail." He holds the envelope up to Sodapop who turns his head in the opposite direction. "Please." Reluctantly, Sodapop clips his beak around the envelope. "Thank you." He watches Sodapop take flight, disappearing around the curve of the owlery. This is the right decision, he thinks.

Something has shifted these days. Remus takes his time walking back, observing everyone around him. A couple sits together off to the side; they lean into one another whispering little nothings and kiss at each others necks. Remus walks past them silently. They're in their own little world together where nothing seems as important than what's right in front of them. Usually Remus would find it off-putting, but instead, he can't help long for that type of affection. What it would feel like to be held. The feeling of lips ghosting along the strain of his neck. To be loved like that.

His thoughts drifts off with a mind of its own. Had he ever loved Abigail like that? Wanted to feel every inch of her skin under his finger tips? Had they ever kissed so hungrily it was as if the world was burning around them in a fire of passion? The love they had was different. It was quiet. A love framed upon a mantle to be observed, seen - frozen forever in time.

Remus brings a hand up to his neck, trailing it down to his collar bone where it feels...bare. The metal that  once hung around his neck and fell right over his heart isn't there. In the frigid winter, whirling its way through the corridors, Remus can feel the heat of the summer sun raining down on his skin. The earthly aroma of freshly mowed grass and roses - bushes of plentiful, blossoming, red roses - fill his nostrils. The sparkle of the setting sun, dazzling over the lake - reflecting the hues and swipes of the painted sky - glimmer before his eyes. Sirius is laying beside him, tangled together in the grass. His eyes are light with life and swirl like pools of aluminum and silver. The light stubble on his face frames his jawline sharply, and his long lashes kiss his tanned skin with every blink. He smells like spice and mint and everything that's good in the world.

"OI PUMPKIN BOY!"

The world in front of Remus falls apart and he's brought back to reality. His hand grazes over the soft cashmere of his burnt orange jumper and he scowls at the portrait on the wall. Rolling his eyes, he stalks away as it shouts more insults his way.

"Bloody riddles," Davy sneers. He stops short when he sees Remus and clears his throat. "Remus! I was just coming to find you."

Remus offers a soft smile. "Here I am."

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Sure."

The pair walk off together down the corridor, away from the bustle of students heading towards the Great Hall. Remus takes a seat against the windowsill and looks at Davy expectantly. He looks different. More rugged perhaps? His appearance isn't as polished and prim in a Mr. Darcy type of way. The blue in his eyes shimmer of an electric blue - bright and icy.

"What did you want to talk about?" Remus asks, leaning back casually. His arms fold just below his chest, staring calculatingly at the Ravenclaw.

"I just wanted to talk," Davy says taking a step closer. His eyes bat at Remus slowly.

"What do you think about the book? Personally, I think Cyrano's insecurities reflect in a lot of us. How we think we're not good enough because of vanity."

"I haven't really started on it yet. It's not what I'm used to reading." Davy takes a seat beside Remus, turning to face him completely. "The holiday's are coming up, do you have any plans?"

"My mum likes to have my friends over every year." Remus takes a deep breath, realizing just how close Davy is in proximity to him. "What about you?"

"Oh I dunno, nothing big, just spending it with my parents. I was going to see if you'd want to...hangout or maybe do something?"

Remus contemplates the idea. It was all a bit much to think that far ahead. He didn't even know what he was having for breakfast tomorrow. "Erm I don't see why not," he answers hesitantly.

"Brilliant."

Remus stares at Davy, taking in the finer details of his face. It's soft, with curved features rather than sharply defined ones - like Sirius'. The freckles that cross the bridge of his nose fade into his pale complexion. Perhaps he was reading the situation all wrong. "Listen, Davy," he begins. "I-I'm really grateful for our friendship." He feels his chest rise and fall slowly. "We should probably get to dinner. I heard there's going to be pumpkin pie."

Davy's posture sags slightly. "If I weren't allergic to pumpkin I'm sure I'd devour it."

Remus nods, tapping his finger on his leg to an unsteady rhythm. "That's too bad." He pushes himself off of the windowsill and straightens out his jumper. Before he walks away, he turns to Davy with his hands placed in his pockets. Their eyes meet like two sailors passing in the night. "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed." Davy stares at Remus with a vacancy in his eyes. "I don't suppose you think Elizabeth Bennett would've preferred to be wooed and showered with affection, do you?"

Davy brushes away the bits of hair falling in front of his eyes. "What girl wouldn't want to be adored?" he responds.

"I'll see you at book club." Remus walks away down the corridor without looking back. He enters the Great Hall and is consumed by the energetic buzz of hungry students. His eyes immediately spot his friends all talking amongst one another. James' hands are waving about as he tells a story while Peter holds his stomach to mask his deep laughter, and Sirius. Sirius is smiling like the brightest star in the sky. His heart is content.

How ardently I admire you and...

Remus approaches the bench and squeezes in beside Peter. "Sorry I'm late."

"We were wondering where you'd gone," Peter says.

"I just had to do something." Remus fills his goblet with water and takes a slow sip. Over the golden rim he sees Sirius. The feeling in his stomach flutters like butterflies. Redness creeps up his cheeks and he gulps faster.