Sometimes, Mistakes Make Destiny | NamJin

Chapter 1: Heartache

   Drunk words are sober thoughts. But turning in his bed in the darkness he wondered if drunk actions had any significance. If the nail marks on his body were any indication, he'd let himself accept that they were sober desires. Perhaps they were.

"I've... wanted this... for... so... long..."

Their breaths were practically mixed into one another's, the touches carefully desperate- afraid of hurting the other yet frantic for the slightest contact.

Kisses over his entire figure, reciprocated with just as much fervour by himself. The soft sound of swallowed moans and pants, and blood ringing in their ears mixed with the sound of their heartbeats racing until neither could decipher their own.

Drifting in and out wishing to prolong the time together just a bit more, exhaustion creeping in and settling on their lashes as they pulled each other closer, sweat glistening in the cool dawn air.

His mate would have to go, he knew. Leave before the sun shifted high in the sky, and it crushed him internally, wolf weeping and whining at the thought of being abandoned in such a vulnerable state.

"You should sleep some."

"I'll need to get up soon, and when I can just exist like this with you again is unknown to me. Let me just..."

His mate trailed off and he just hummed in understanding. He knew well enough that they shouldn't be doing what they are.

"Just so you know, there's no one else I would've nor will spend this part of my time with, except you."

He was pulled into a soft kiss, brief and full of longing. He didn't open his eyes after that, letting himself slip into slumber, sparing his heart momentarily from the pain of watching his mate walk out of what was supposed to be their shared home.

The moments were still fresh on his mind, and his body. The accidental scratches left in the heat of desperation still stung, as did his tears, and every muscle ached just the same. The phantom of kisses shared were still stuck on his lips and all over his skin. The thoughts brought about equal parts heartache and longing. It had back when he was sixteen and the feelings just didn't dissipate no matter what.

He shifted once more in a futile attempt to drive his thoughts away and catch up on some precious sleep. The beginning of the year had been everything but kind to him, and he just needed some energy for the following day.

"Jinnie hyung?"

The sleepy voice of his cousin snapped him out of his head. The younger scooted closer to him and draped an arm over his body, snuggling. And how could Seokjin resist such affection?

He relaxed into the younger's hold, snuggling back, the sweet omega pheromones of the younger setting off his own calming ones.

Omega scents were sweeter in comparison to other shifters in general, but his cousin's was significantly more so, traces of a milky undertone that soothed everything, an indication of childbearing. It told everyone around nearby that the omega needed to be treated even more carefully.

"You're alright, Taehyung-ah?"

The younger just faintly nodded, already on the verge of falling asleep again. Seokjin just smiled, carding his fingers through his brother's hair, his mind slightly distracted, his heart hurting just a little less. The soothing pheromones helped, the similar to when he was a child just presenting and how the omegas of their household would sometimes nest together.

That was a distant dream, now. The memories felt more like a fantasy, a fragment of a feverish imagination. Most of his life felt like that; A dream; Not his own. He wondered how he even lived so far to the age of twenty-six.

It was getting tougher and tougher to endure things. But then again, there wasn't much he could do. Not when he was alone.

Seokjin held Taehyung closer, the only sense of familiarity and family at that moment of despair. Exhaustion was getting to him and he drifted off, subconsciously thankful that Jungkook was out on a mission. He couldn't handle being alone these days. It was just continuous heartache.

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A/N:
So hello there! Short little update but yes, this story is getting re-edited before I further post new chapters. I started this story back in 2020 during COVID and my writing style has changed since, and I just found it difficult to get back to continuing this due to the newfound mismatch of my newer writing techniques. 

But I love this story and did not have the heart to leave it, considering I have all of it planned. So here I go with rephrased, redone scenes of the same plotline and same characters, just a bit better written, and with more substance than earlier.

And as always, I hope everyone is doing well.
Take care, drink water and enjoy!

Over and out~~~