Eric's eyes were fixated on the road and mine were fixated on him. My mind was racing ahead of me and my blood was surging through my veins. I had no idea where we were headed next. It was nearly ten so I figured he was just taking me home. Even though I knew his family was out of town his wife must have been wondering why she'd hadn't heard from him the last few hours. I didn't question where Eric was taking us only because I didn't want to go home. We hadn't even had a chance to really talk yet. The folder in my purse had been untouched. I wanted him to read my work. I craved his opinions, I always had.
We drove through a neighborhood I didn't recognize and pulled up to the sweetest looking house. I knew instantly it was his, he had actually taken me to his house. I looked around at the other houses on the block and noticed a few lights were on, we could have been seen by any of his neighbors. I breathed easier when he pulled into his garage.
"Is this okay?" Eric said quietly as he turned off the engine.
"Well, I suppose it depends on what you mean by this."
"I could make some coffee and actually take a look at your writing, you did bring some right?"
"I did and that would be nice."
Eric beamed brightly at me and I stepped out of the car. My hands began to shake as I followed him into his house. It was obvious that children lived here. There was artwork hung on nearly every wall leading into Eric's kitchen. Child sized shoes were beside the door, along with two backpacks that hung on two hooks. As we entered the kitchen my eyes immediately caught sight of the living room. There was a large family portrait mounted above the fireplace. They looked happy. The four of them were surrounded by trees. All of their smiles seemed candid, not like a typical staged family photo. My heart sank, tears filled
my eyes. This was wrong. No matter how I tried to justify this situation, it was just wrong. It was inappropriate and unfair to his beautiful family for me to be here, regardless of Eric's intentions.
My epiphany had gone unnoticed by Eric because he was still preparing the coffee. I hadn't realized he had been talking the entire time. He stopped mid-sentence when he turned to face me and realized I was about to cry. He sped towards me and stood only inches away from me. I clutched my chest. I felt sick to my stomach.
"Are you okay Ella? What's wrong?"
I stepped away from Eric as tears rolled down my cheeks. "Why the fuck am I here?" I screeched.
Eric tried to step towards me and I took another step back.
"I'm sorry Ella, I'm so sorry."
"Answer me." I insisted through my flowing tears. I couldn't hold them back anymore even though I didn't want him to see me cry.
"I can't tell you why Ella. I'm just captivated by you."
"Why? How? When?" I mumbled.
"I know, I'm despicable. When I saw you earlier this week and how beautiful you've become, how bright and lovely you are, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Over the last few days I've been going over all our old email exchanges and just couldn't get you out of my head. Believe me, I've tried. I'm awful."
I wanted to slap myself hard in the face because I must have been dreaming. It had to be Saturday night and I was sound asleep in my bed dreaming all of this. This could not be real. My mind had gone over every possible scenario of how this night might go and even though I had secretly and unfairly desired this outcome, this couldn't be real.
"Say something Ella." Eric's voice broke.
I snapped my head up at Eric, he actually had tears in his eyes too. I had never seen a man cry before and I never expected to see him in this state.
