I gawked like a fool as I stared up at Lucas. I had never expected to run into him while on my very brief trip, but now he stood in front of me holding my cappuccino, I had never even heard my name called.
"What the hell are you doing in New York Ella?" Lucas asked confusedly.
Lucas sat on the armchair beside me and my mouth hung open. He seemed like a distant memory now. After everything that had transpired between Eric, Charlie and I, I had completely forgotten I had hurt someone else too, Lucas.
"Hey, Ella." Lucas said as he snapped his fingers by my ears.
I jumped and laughed nervously, I was still in shock.
"Kind of a spontaneous thing. How are you?"
"You? Spontaneous? That's good to hear. I'm doing great. I'm here for Thanksgiving, my mom's flying in today. I'm headed to Beijing right after Thanksgiving, till Christmas."
"Good. Good. Good." I stuttered. "I think I need some air." I mumbled as I pulled on my scarf, my cheeks were burning.
"Care for some company?"
"Sure." I muttered.
I stumbled out of Starbucks and into the brisk streets. Lucas chuckled as he walked beside me. He nudged my shoulder and I laughed nervously.
"Relax Ella, there's no hard feelings."
I gaped at Lucas in shock and he laughed at my wide eyes. He nudged my shoulder again and l laughed too, feeling a bit less tense. My shoulders fell into their natural position and my breathing returned to normal.
"Lighten up Ella. I have traveled so much since graduation, I know I wasn't the best boyfriend. I wasn't surprised."
"Well I'm still sorry. I feel like the biggest ass."
"You're not. We both deserve to be happy, and I'm happiest when I travel. I don't know what I was thinking when I proposed. I'm definitely not ready for marriage and I know you weren't either."
"Definitely not." I mumbled.
"So is your mom around? Or you sister? How's your nephew?"
"They're all great, back in Portland. I'm going back tomorrow."
"Alone?"
I huffed loudly, for some unknown reason I was not wanting to tell Lucas the complete truth. I was afraid of what he might think. Though he seemed so understanding, I didn't want to hurt him more.
"Oh I see, you're with a guy." Lucas said with a laugh.
I gawked at Lucas again and suddenly wanted to be as far from him as possible, I thought I might keel over from embarrassment.
"It's okay El, I wasn't expecting you to become celibate after breaking up with me."
I stared at Lucas in bewilderment and realized just how much he had changed in the months we hadn't seen each other. Lucas was never the jealous type but he was never usually this collected and outspoken, traveling had certainly done him well. His eyes were bright, his smile was wide as if it was there often, his hair was shaggy around his ears when normally he had it buzzed short. He looked great, beyond great. Our break up had done him well too. I wondered if I looked different to him too, hopefully better. I had no idea what the stress of my current relationships was doing to my appearance.
"Well who's the lucky guy then?" Lucas teased.
I frowned as I attempted to tell Lucas who I was with. It shouldn't have been a complicated response. I was with Charlie, but how would I classify him now? We had expressed our love to each other, so that made me want to label him as my boyfriend. But in the back of my mind I was still pining for Eric. It was too complex. I hated this.
