The Sexual Assistant

Assistant Fate

Colonel Buffy had finally gotten her cell phone back in London. Neil's messages were weeks old, but she replied. As the aircraft touched down at Gerald R. Ford Airport, she checked again for a reply. There was none.

Buffy slumped in her seat, depressed. "How could my life be any worse?" she thought. Then she glanced over at Harrison, seated next to her. "Oh, yeah. It is worse." She stared at Harrison, who seemed lost in a math calculation.

"I hate you," Buffy said.

"That's nice," replied Harris, without even looking up.

"To be precise, I hate you, but with a whole new level of respect," she stated.

Still not looking up, Harris replied, "And, I am solidly moving towards a neutral opinion of you. However, this is a positive change in my attitude and let's never, ever do this again."

"Agreed," responded Buffy. "However, if you hurt Alisha, I will kill you."

"Not a problem," said Harris smiling. He finally looked up at Buffy and said, "You have my word of honor."

Since Buffy's personal mobility device had been destroyed in Beirut, she had borrowed various forms of wheelchairs. The airline had provided her with a generic model for the flight. Buffy wasn't sure if she should ask Barnett to find her a replacement for the mobility device.

As Harris and Buffy waited for their luggage, Wendy and Barnett walked up with greetings, hugs, and handshakes. Barnett sat down next to Buffy and said, "I have a surprise for you."

"I hate surprises," answered Buffy.

"Good," said Barnett as he pointed over her shoulder.

Buffy turned around and saw two personal mobility devices heading towards her. Both devices were the newest and most up-to-date models. The first device was autonomously homing in on the remote control Barnett handed to Buffy. The second device was being driven by Sargent Neil, sporting a black shirt, silver tie, and black suit coat. He pulled up next to Buffy.

"Hi, beautiful. Glad to see you still alive," he said, smiling.

"What are you doing here?" asked the startled Buffy.

"Mr. Lay here can explain," Neil responded.

Barnett took over the conversation. "While you were gone, I made Neil here an offer. I ordered you a new personal mobility device and discovered that the company needed a sales representative for the United States. Neil has communication and leadership skills from the Army, plus the personal experience of disability. He's the perfect sales representative. Toyota hired him to train a large team of disabled veterans to sell the new mobility devices suite."

"But, how did you know about Neil?" asked Buffy.

Barnett said nothing but did rub his nose with his finger, pointing in the direction of Wendy. Buffy understood immediately.

Barnett and Harris helped Buffy into her new device. It was sleek, red, and smaller than her original unit. "You two run along and talk. Take the rest of the week off, Buffy. You had a hard mission," said Barnett.

"What do I get?" asked Harris.

"Shut up," said Barnett as he watched Neil and Buffy drive away.

"So," said Wendy, "is that how you fix a broken heart. Buy them a couple of fancy wheelchairs?"

"I did a few other things for them," said Barnett casually.

"Like what?" Wendy asked.

"The central problem was not a broken heart. Their hearts just were not into it. It was exciting when they were keeping the relationship secret from the Army. Outside the Army, the thrill was gone, and their lovemaking capabilities were diminished."