The Sweet Escape || S.R.

If I Lay Here

WARNING: Self degrading, panic attack, suicidal thoughts.

SPENCER'S POV:

As I lay next to Y/N I think about what I said on the phone the other night.

I know I care about here, and yes, I'm a man I've thought of here sexually. I've just never said it out loud, and I never thought I would.

She looks so beautiful when she sleeps, I know that sounds weird, but she just seems so peaceful.

No Spencer, you cant fall for your beat friend. She'd never see you that way, and she just got out of a toxic relationship. I wouldnt have a chance.

She shifts her body to face away me, still asleep. I guess I should go to bed.

Y/N POV:

I feel the sunlight on my skin as I open my eyes. I look down to see Spencer's arm wrapped around me. I cant help but feel joy.

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, cliche, I know. I need to get him up though he has work.

I nudge him a little, "Spence, wake up you have work."

He speaks with his eyes still closed, "I'm not leaving you, I'm finding this son of a bitch. Garcia called and found two towers that hes pinging his cell on, both in town. So we know approximately where he is." He sighs

"But today, we are moving you into a new apartment, well mine actually." You tried to contain your excitement.

"Really?"

"Yeah, right now I need to make sure you're safe, and I know you will be with me." He smiled.

"What about him stalking us. If I move in with you wont that just make him angrier?" You questioned.

"Most likely, but Y/N we're out of choices. At least if you are living with me I'll be there, and I have a gun so he wont be hurting you." He stated confidently.

You nodded, knowing you wouldnt change his mind, and you didnt really want to.

Hours later...

You guys spent the whole day moving your things out, not all of them because Spence didnt want you out in the open for long. You're lease wasn't up for another two weeks, so he said Garcia and JJ would help move stuff over as well.

You already felt at home, well you always feel at home with Spencer.
Y/N stop you cant fall for your best friend, he'd never see you like that.

Spencer went out to get food. He was scared to leave you alone, but he taught you how to defend yourself if for some reason you had to. You walked to the bathroom for a shower.

You looked in the mirror as you shedded your clothing. You looked at every curve and stretch mark, you started to cry. This is why your ex treated you so badly. You were hideous.

You didnt even deserve him, it's all your fault. The voice in my head kept getting louder and louder. Your nothing. Spencer would never want you. You deserved to be degraded. You don't deserve to live.

You started to have a panic attack. You kept crying and felt like the walls were closing in.

"Y/N?" It was Spencer.

"Y/N are you okay? Let me in!" He sounded concerned.

He's not concerned. No one cares about you.

The voice kept ringing.

"Y/N please let me in." You ignored him.

Then you heard the door being kicked down. There stood Derek and Spencer.

"Y/N." Spencer said in a soft voice as he ran toward you. "Did he try to hurt you? Is he here?" I shook my head no, he looked relieved.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing Spencer, I'm fine." He knew you weren't, but didnt push any further.

"Let's get you to bed, okay?" You nodded. Maybe if you were asleep this voice would go away.

You knew that Spencer would bring this up tomorrow, but for right now you didnt want to think about it.

Derek waved goodbye after he had a quick conversation with Spencer. After that Spencer came to bed.

"Y/N, is it okay if I hold you?" You nodded profusely.

You drifted to sleep with the doctor's arms wrapped around you, and for the first time tonight, a smile on your face.

(A/N again I hope you're liking the story. Should I bring in Morgan's POV or maybe Garcia's? Dont forget to vote and comment.✌)