Accepting Elijah's Heart

Chapter One

Chapter One

Reina Blackwell was convinced some days existed just to make mothers cry.

She narrowed her eyes as if the concentrated stare could fast-track her to the front of the turtle-moving checkout line. She silently begged the chubby-cheeked baby in the car seat to remain quiet and shook her head at the many extra items that disqualified her for the coveted "15 or fewer" line.

"Nate, give mommy five more minutes."

His eyes, nuggets of dark chocolate that reminded her so much of his father, followed her voice. Or was it late father? Did it matter? Nathaniel never had the chance to meet the man who'd died the day after learning his wife was a month pregnant with their first child. I should be grateful he at least had the joy of knowing he was going to be a father. Reina's heart hardened at should.

"Miss, it's your turn." prompted the Tofutti-loving brunette in the next line, interrupting her thoughts.

Paying for the items took longer than she realized. As soon as she handed her reusable bags to the cashier, Nathaniel let loose one of his now famous I gave you ample warning to pay attention to me screams. A scream that startled the toddler at the front register to tears. "I'm so sorry," she said to the child's mother and threw her newly packed bags into the shopping cart. Reina quickly exited the supermarket to the tune of Nate's exasperated screams and the toddler's hiccupped cries.

Yep. I'm winning at this mom life. Useless, she thought, despite her best effort not to. Two days into the New Year and those thoughts she'd promised to leave behind still plagued her.

"Mommy's sorry, Nate. It's no fun being stuck in this winter suit for almost four hours. Let's grab a car and go home."

Reina dug through the diaper bag for her phone to pull up the car app. "Ugh. Great. It's dead. Now I have to fight for a cab."

She hurried to a nearby corner and searched for a cab while trying to avoid the stampede of students, local street performers, tourists, and scowling office workers rushing to their destinations to get out of the January cold. Hey dummy, she scolded herself. Next time, go to the perfectly good grocery store just blocks from your apartment. Keeping the same routines won't bring your husband back.

Reina remembered the days when she and Jared used to leave their uptown apartment to walk to this downtown supermarket—a destination easily reached with a twenty-minute subway ride. Instead, they'd spend the hour plus leisurely walking through Central Park—stopping often to sit on the grass to talk, make-out, and people watch. Something about being in love—both with the man and the city—distorted her view of how impractical that was. A fact that was much harder to ignore in the face of 20-degrees and an unreasonable, angry baby.

"Gade yon koze! What a mess!" Reina said, shaking her head. A mess trying to hail a cab while soothing the nerves of her irritated son. Reina was ready to donate her groceries to a passerby and hop on the subway. Thank God for good Samaritans. An older gentleman caught the attention of a passing cabbie and helped get her and the baby settled in. She thanked him for his kindness and directed the driver to her apartment.

"It's rush hour, Nate; we're going to be here for a while. Please be nice to mommy and this gentleman and stop hollering." She smiled her apology to the driver.

When he didn't stop, she continued. "Come on, baby. We're both novices at this parent-child thing. This is your first go-round as a baby, and my first—and last, judging by how well I'm doing right now—trip down mommy lane."

She rocked Nate as best she could in the car seat while he continued to cry. The driver, a gray-haired man in what appeared to be his seventies, shifted in his seat and peeked at them in the rearview mirror as if ready to offer help. I'd quiet him down if I could. You try reasoning with a three-month-old.