Coming Home (English Version)

23. Glowing

Hamdan

Layla flips her hair back and the scent of her perfume hits my nose, it hasn't been that long but it feels like forever since I was last able to smell her hair.

Settling on my seat a waiter approaches me and I ask for water only.

"You're not eating?" She asks me.

I figured it might take her more time to actually say something to me, or that kissing her head or sitting next to her would be too much too soon, so my heart beats with joy at the fact that she seems so unbothered by my presence.

"I already ate." I reply.

You're the only reason why I'm here, I want to add but she must know my feelings for her have remained the same. Even though we decided to take this time apart, everything is even better now because I feel so much lighter after finally speaking up for myself. It hurt seeing my mother so distressed and I'll keep asking for her forgiveness for not talking to her sooner, but I will never apologize for not wanting to get married to Shamma.

"How was France?" I wonder, in an attempt to start a conversation.

She covers her mouth with the napkin to chew down her food. "I didn't go to France."

I straighten on my chair. "What? But Mansoor was there."

"He was, I wasn't. I canceled last minute and decided to go to Switzerland instead." She explains.

"With your friends?" I assume.

She shakes her head. "No, I went there alone. I needed some space and quiet."

I turn my body in her direction because this is fascinating, does she even realize that? Most people not only can't be alone, they don't want to be alone because that would mean dealing with themselves and that can turn scary. I could learn from her; most of the time there's someone around me and when I'm finally alone I can easily avoid myself and my thoughts with all sorts of distractions. I know now that was the reason why I didn't say anything about my arranged marriage sooner, if I had taken the time to reflect on what I truly wanted so much heartache and many years could have been saved.

"You were alone for New Year's?" I insist. "What did you do there?"

"Uh... I spent most of the time watching the snowfall while wearing comfy warm clothes and drinking the best hot cocoa in the world." She puts her fork down and wipes her mouth with the napkin, seemingly done eating.

What an image she just put in my head, I would've loved being there, just the two of us, not leaving the room for anything. It will happen, someday.

"So, I got this email today inviting me to join the Gov Games." She continues.

That's right! She's a government employee now, I didn't think of that. It doesn't really matter though, it's not like she will be participating but it would be amazing if she stops by to see the race.

"Yes!" I reply. "I'm really excited, I cannot wait."

"I'm having a meeting later today, with my potential team members." She announces.

I cannot keep myself from laughing. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You're doing that, Layla?" Maryam asks with incredulity. "Have you seen how hard it is?"

Layla pushes her body back and turns her head to look at the both of us. "Why are you guys so mean? Why is this so hard to believe?"

"I'm not being mean." Maryam apologizes while standing up from her seat. "But you never ever workout!"