Come Back To Me

20

I felt like all the life had been sucked out of me.

"Alex, what is this?" My eyes burned with tears, but my hands clenched into fists at my sides. It hurt. Way too much. To see that stupid bitch even near him again was death to my consciousness.

"Hanna?" His eyes popped wide open. "I didn't know you were coming by!" He added frantically. The bitch just sat there, the slight hint of a smirk on her face. It took everything I had not to knock that smirk into next week.

"Alex!" I screamed, walking into the apartment. "What about today?" I waved my arms around while trying to make sense of everything. But I just couldn't. My mind wouldn't let me react reasonably. The only things buzzing through my brain were hate. And anger. And punching.

And he just stared at me for a second, as if he'd almost completely forgotten about yesterday. Possibly as if it had never even happened. Or maybe he just didn't want that bitch to know about it.

"Relax, Han," Her slithery little voice purred. "He's a big boy. Alex can be with whoever he wants to."

"Listen here, you litte skank," The seething rage dripped from every word. "You back your little ass right out of this apartment, or you're going to need carried out of here."

Alex just stared at the two of us. His eyes darted back and forth. I allowed myself to take a quick glance at him, only feeling more broken than I already was.

"You had your shot. And you gave it up," By this point, she was all but laughing. And I was still in a fit of anger. I was mad. And confused. And hurt. And probably every other negative emotion that exists. I'd never felt so betrayed.

"Get away from him, Selena," My voice shook. Tears threatened. But I had to stay strong. "He's mine. And he always will be." By this point Alex was the confused one. He looked at me with huge, dopey eyes as if he didn't know what I just said. But I think a part of him understood just fine.

"And why should I?" She asked, slipping her hand onto his arm. Alex was caught between the two of us. He didn't understand that there was a history here. That Selena had tried to take what was mine once before.

"Hanna, what's going on?" He leapt off the couch and closed the distance between us. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me and tell me that he remembered everything, but of course that didn't happen. I wasn't that lucky. He believed a totally different scenario. "Selena told me that she was my girlfriend."

"And you seriously believed her? Why the hell didn't she show up at the hospital, Alex? Huh?Why didn't she ever come and see you? Because I spent every single day there, sitting beside you, holding your hand, talking to you, literally every day. I skipped last period just so I could spend more time with you! And if you look at your visitors' sheet, there will be no record of her! Because she was never there, Alex!" And now, the sobbing had begun. I was crying out of frustration. Why couldn't he just remember? Why couldn't everything just be normal again? Why did this have to hurt so much?

"Hanna, what are you talking about?" He put a hand on my arm. But I pulled away. His touch was too much right now.

"I'm talking about today, Alex," I backed up and leaned against a wall, defeated. "That's what I was going to tell you. But then we had to go. And I lost the courage to tell you. And then Zoey made me come back over here and tell you. I miss you," I whispered

"Hanna," His eyes softened. "I'm sorry. But I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," I added, now crying a little harder. "I should've known what was going to happen. She did this before. How was I so stupid as to think she wouldn't again?" The tears rolled down my cheeks. I was hurt. Broken.

"I'm right here, you dumb bitch." Selena swam into view, pushing Alex back. "Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?"

"You don't belong here," My fists balled up again. "I swear to god I'll-"

"You'll what? Cry some more?" She smirked that evil little smirk again.

"Get out. Get out of here. Leave and don't ever come back," I stared into her eyes. They were a murky brown, muddy brown, unsure if they were ever telling the truth or not. Just like her personality. Evil. Jealous.

It was impossible for me. My heart hurt. My entire body hurt. There was adrenaline coursing through my veins, but at the same time, I was ready to give up. I was tired but pumped up. My heart felt utterly broken. Like Selena had taken a knife and plunged it through. And Alex had given it the final push. He didn't even have to say anything. The fact that he couldn't even remember who I was hurt enough.

"You know what, Alex?" I moved past Selena and toward Alex. "If you want her, then have her. I know you don't remember things from before you woke up, but you sure as hell remember this past month. Who was there for you? Who spent time with you, daily? Who sat and explained to you who you are? Because the answer to all those questions is me. And it might seem like I'm blowing things out of proportion, but you don't know what she did before the accident. You don't know what she tried to do to us not too long after we got together. You don't know. And the suckiest thing is that I thought you'd remember that you loved me."

The tears were done. I couldn't possibly cry anymore. The ducts were empty. But my brain hurt and I just couldn't handle it.

"Hanna, you've got to tell me what's going on," Alex put his hand on my wrist. But I pulled away. It hurt too much.

"Why don't you ask Selena?" I spat out. "I can't do this anymore. Goodbye, Alex."

I slammed his door shut behind me, probably leaving him in a world of utter confusion. Selena could pick up the pieces this time. I'd been fighting for Alex for so long, and hoping that he'd remember, but apparantly that wasn't going to happen.

I guess he'd rather waste his time with a girl that hurt him over and over again. She was no good for him. But of course, he didn't remember that side of her. He didn't remember any side of her. She could tell him whatever she wanted to, and he;d believe it. Because he didn't know any different.

And I did know different.

I knew the story of us.

And this was not how it was supposed to end.