Come Back To Me

19

That night, Zoey was staying at my house. Even though we were eightteen years old, sleepovers were still a necessity. She'd been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and that was never going to change. We were laying on my bed, facing each other, discussing the events of the day. I'd told her about what happened between Alex and I, starting from the moment that I fell. I told her about that look in his eyes. It was his 'I really want to kiss you look" that he used to get sometimes. It was the first time I'd seen it since the accident. Maybe things were coming back to him.

Or not.

"So does this mean you guys are back on?" Zoey asked, her eyes bright and pleading me to say that we were.

"I don't know, Zo," I smiled and shook my head. Truth be told, I was hoping he'd kiss me. Maybe it would make it easier for me to explain our relationship to him.

"Oh, come on," She took my hand. "You know you want him. And he wants you to. Because he's realizing he has feelings for you. That's good, right?" She smiled and rocked backward, nearly falling off the bed. I had to cough to keep from laughing. 

"Maybe he is, Zoey. But I don't know." I cast my eyes downward.

"You're saying that you don't know way too much. Because I know one thing that you know for sure." She lifted my chin so I had to look her in the eyes. "You know you love him."

"I do love him. Zoey, I love him so much. He's my best friend. And it's been killing me not to have him. I hate how empty I feel when I wake up and there's no text from him. He doesn't call me at ten to say goodnight like he used to. There's nothing. Because this Alex doesn't know that he's supposed to do any of that. Hell, he doesn't even know I'm actually his girlfriend. I miss the random trips to Wendy's. I miss the way it feels when he'd put his hand on my knee. I just miss him, Zoey. I miss him. I miss everything about him. I swear, this is what hell feels like," I whispered into her shoulder. At some point she'd wrapped her arms around me to offer some support. And I needed it in a bad way.

"See, sweetheart, that's all that matters," She looked right in my eyes. "You love him. And that's what counts. Somewhere in there is all of his memories of you. And he loves you. I know it. You've got to tell him."

"You're right," I nodded my head in agreement. "You're absolutely right. I do need to tell him," I stood up quickly before sitting right back down. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Oh no, don't you dare back out, miss Hanna Grace Kelley,"  Zoey pushed me back off the bed. "We're going to get you looking absolutely gorgeous. And then you're going to go over there. And you're going to tell Alex all about you and him." She smirked at me before heading to my closet. "I'll make sure Matt's out. Now, let's get something out for you to wear."

Eventually she decided that I'd slip into a pair of jean shorts and a crop top. But I had to have cute underwear on. In case he remembered, I guess. That was Zoey's idea. Apparantly, my usual 'granny panties' were not acceptable for this occasion.

It was just after 9 PM, and we were doing my hair and makeup. Zoey was taking a curling wand to my long locks while I was contemplating how to do my eye makeup. It had to be perfect. Nothing short of stunning. I was going to get my man back. After almost a month, I was finally going to get him back. I'd been waiting for this day since the accident.

I rubbed my lips together and stared at myself in the mirror in amazement. Zoey was quite the makeup artist. I really looked gorgeous. And felt it. And everything was about to return to normal. That was the biggest part.

"Okay, babe, go get him," Zoey said, giving me a little push out the door. "I'll talk to your mom and dad. And I'll hang here till you get back. Take as long as you need, alright?"

"I will, Zo." I smiled and threw my arms around her one last time. "I can't thank you enough for giving me this amazing look. And some courage."

"Make me proud, okay?" She smirked and inched the door shut. I couldn't wipe this stupid grin off of my face. My car sat in the driveway, waiting for me. I slipped in and turned the key, feeling more brave than I ever had before. Just then, I was thrown into a memory of Alex and I.

We'd already been on the phone an hour. And we weren't even that type of couple. We didn't have long phone conversations. But for some reason, today we were. It was about a month after my birthday, and Alex had called me for our regular 10 PM goodnight phone call. However, we ended up talking about ten times the normal length of our conversations.

"Hanna?" He said. I could hear the sleepiness in his voice. Several times I'd told hi that I should probably go, since I had school in the morning, but he kept asking me to stay on the phone a little longer. And I did.

"Yeah?" I answered. I imagined him hearing the sleepiness in my voice, and wondered if he found it as sexy as I found the sleepy tones in his voice. Maybe. But I probably just sounded like a dying animal.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," He whispered. At that moment I felt like we weren't on the phone, but laying next to each other. Something about that moment seemed so much more intimate. He'd said those same words to me maybe a hundred times before, but these felt different. To hear the way he said them, at 11:30 at night, when both of us were almost sleeping, seemed so much more special.

"I love you, Alex," I whispered, smiling. The stupid smile hadn't left my face since my eightteenth birthday. I guess that one night really does affect your entire future.

"I love you, too, Hanna." I knew he was smiling. "And I always will."

"I know," The grin was still there. He really had to stop being so darn cute. "I really do have to go, though."

"I know you do." He replied. "Sorry if I made you stay up late. I just love the sound of your voice."

"It's okay," I answered. "It's not like I would've slept anyways."

"Goodnight, baby," He whispered into the receiver.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," I pressed the 'hang up' button on my phone. We'd talked almost two hours.

And I didn't even care that tomorrow at school would probably be hell.

I channeled that happiness to summon the courage to pull out of my driveway. Evenutally, I found myself cruising down the highway toward Alex and Matt's place. The butterflies in my stomache grew into a swarm. They were anticipating the next ten minutes just as much as my brain.

I'd popped my favorite mix CD in the player to pump myself up. It was a mix of some bad 80s and 90s rap songs combined with some hip hop from now. It never failed to get my confidence and feeling of being a badass through the roof.

Finally, as I approached Alex's street, my heart basically leapt out of my chest. I was beyond excited. After almost six weeks, I was finally going to get my man back. Well, he'd always been my man, but now he was going to know he was my man. Again.

I jumped out of the car and basically bounced into the building. The elevator doors were open; some middle aged guy was just on his way out. I raced inside and pressed the 3 button. Just a few more seconds, and everything would be normal. I checked my phone, and sure enough there was a text from Zoey.

Matt said he's out. I told him what's going on. Be brave. He loves you. You just have to remind him. The text read.

The encouragement was all I needed as the doors opened. I walked down the hallway to Alex's room, 312. I knocked lightly before pulling out my key. He was the only one home. Why should I have to knock?

I turned the key and opened the door slowly. What I saw in the room made me sick to my stomach.

"What the hell?" My voice shook. All of the life had been sucked out of me.