Come Back To Me

24

I turned him down.

After all my time spent wishing he'd remember, I turned him down.

After he'd almost blatantly asked me to confirm that we were in a relationship, I turned him down.

What was wrong with me?

I'd been asking myself that question over and over for the last twenty minutes. When I'd returned home with my things, I was so restless that I knew I wouldn't get anything done. So I texted Selena and asked her to meet me at the park. For some reason I had her number. I never could recall how it'd gotten into my phone, it was just that one day it was suddenly there. She'd agreed to meet me.

And now I was sitting on a park bench, nervously jiggling my foot, and looking right and left frantically. I tried to pick out her face from among a sea of joggers and dog walkers, but to no avail. I'd been waiting twenty minutes for her already, but she was nowhere to be found. I should've figured that Selena would have to be fashionable late.

"Behind you," She breathed. I jumped, totally startled. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, yeah," I scooted toward one side of the bench. "That's fine."

At that point I'd exhausted all conversation. I decided that I'd just skip right to the point.

But Selena beat me to it. "I told him. Not everything, but some."

"What I don't get is why. I don't get why you told him everything. It didn't benefit you at all." And I really didn't get why she told him. It was literally the exact opposite of her personality.

"Well," She began, letting out a huge breath. "When you came into the apartment the other day, I actually felt kind of bad. I felt really slimy, and I didn't like it. I know I was a bitch to you, but it was because I don't know how else to react. I went back later that day and told him the truth."

"You did?" I asked, completely lost.

Was she actually being a normal human being for once?

"I told him everything. It felt wrong not to. I told him about all four of the guys. But I didn't say anything about you two. Because I could tell he didn't know. And that's your place to tell him." She seemed so normal; it was almost unreal.

"But I still don't understand why?" I asked one final time.

"Truthfully, I think I needed to get over him. I know that sounds stupid, but it's how I felt. I'm interested in someone else, Hanna. And I needed to move on from Alex," It was so believable, but at the same time I was doubtful. I wanted to trust her, but I still wasn't sure of her intentions. I didn't feel like I was talking to Selena. This girl actually seemed human.

"Well, I hope everything works out for you," I whispered, turning away from her and looking at the ground.

"Hanna," She tentatively placed a hand on my knee, before deciding against it and drawing it back. "You need to tell him. Tell him everything. Pour your guts out to him entirely. Tell him everything about the two of you, and tell him your feelings."

"I've never seen you want me to be happy. In fact, it's always been the opposite," I stated matter-of-factly. It was strange to hear nonthreatening words come out of her mouth. If I could recall our conversation from about a year ago, I believe it ended with each of us screaming 'go to hell'.

"You need to know this. Nothing happened between us in that apartment. I know you think otherwise, and I know it probably looked otherwise. I'll admit that before you showed up, I was acting pretty slutty, praying on a guy who'd lost his memory. I'd looked at it as trying to get in a final kiss before I moved on. I needed to know nothing could happen between him and I. When you came in, and I saw that look on your face, I knew there was nothing. You're meant to have him. And I'm meant to have someone else. So go get him before I change my mind." She offered a tiny smile in my direction.