Mafia

8 Damon

She fell asleep so quickly that I can't help but wonder when's the last time she had a good night's sleep. I look down at her sleeping face. Not long ago, she was terrified every time anyone came near her. Now, she was actually sleeping with her head in my lap.

I couldn't help but be amazed by this woman. She's terrified of everything except what she should be scared of. And from what I've found out, it seems like she doesn't have anyone in her life. But she's managed to survive completely on her own. She literally made a place for herself in the world.

Before I met Lupin, if you told me that the infamous Hestia was a shy, quiet woman with anxiety so bad that she had panic attacks because she was scared of the whole world, I never would've believed you. Hell, I'd have thought you were crazy. But sitting here, watching Lupin sleep while I run my fingers through her wavy blond hair, I can see it easily.

After she got back from Lupin's place, I pulled Emma aside and asked her about Lupin's anxiety. I don't know why. I just wanted to make sure that Lupin would be okay. Emma told me what she thought. Like Tony and Steve, Emma was worried that someone had hurt Lupin, and that's why she had such a hard time and flinched whenever someone touched her.

I clenched my fist. Even though I haven't known her for very long, the thought of anyone hurting Lupin made me angrier than I had been in a long, long time. No one as strong as her should have to go through everything that she has.

Lupin is stronger than any woman I've ever met. The only woman who even come close are Emma, Roxy, and my mom. They're strong, but not in the same way that Lupin is. I don't really know how to describe it. Lupin's strength definitely isn't physical. Her getting attacked in the alley proved that. It's much more subtle than that. It's the kind of strength that you can't see unless you look for it.

I can see her strength in the way she shields herself from everyone. It's in the way she taps her foot or shakes her hand. It's in the way her eyes dart around a room and how she never turns her back on anyone, like she's expecting some kind of attack to come at any moment. Where I can really see it is in the deep bags under her eyes and the subtle scars that cover her body.

I looked down and saw Lupin's brown furrowed in her sleep.

"No," she said softly, "please no." If she hadn't been laying on my lap, I never would've heard it. She turned onto her back. For a second, I thought she'd woken up, but she was definitely still asleep.

"No," she said again, "please don't make me go back." Her hands clenched so tightly around the blanket that her knuckles turned white. She started shaking, and I could see tears running down her cheeks. She was having another nightmare.

"No," she said, "Please."

"It's okay," I said as I helped her turn onto her side.

"No," she said again. I put one hand on her back and held one of hers in my other hand. It didn't take much for her to let go of the blanket and grab onto my hand instead. If the grip on my hand was any indication, then whatever her nightmare was about, it was really bad.

"Shhh," I whispered, "You're safe." I gently moved my hand in circles on her back while I rubbed my thumb back and forth on the back of her hand.

It took a little while, but Lupin eventually calmed down and went back to sleeping peacefully. Even though she was calm, I still didn't let her go. I didn't want to. Seeing her that scared did something to me. When she had nightmares before, part of me thought that it might be the drugs. But this proved me wrong. Lupin didn't have any drugs in her system. The nightmares were hers. She's been here for less than a week, I thought. and this is the third night she's had nightmares. I sat there wondering what could possibly give someone as strong at Lupin nightmares this consistently.

My phone vibrated on the arm of the sofa. I turned it over and looked at the caller ID.

"Hey, Em," I said as I answered the phone. I made sure to talk soft enough not to wake Lupin.

"Hey," she said, "Did you talk to Lupin?"

"Yeah," I said. Emma was just as concerned by Lupin's flinching as I was. Emma had said that she was willing to talk to her, but I told her that I wanted to be the one to ask her.

"And?" Emma asked, her voice full of concern.

"We were wrong," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely."

"Thank God." I could hear Emma's relief through the phone.

"Okay," she said, "I just wanted to call and check." I could hear beeping and yelling on the other end of the phone.

"Gotta go," Emma said, "Love you, bro."

"Love you too, sis," I said. 

I knew Lupin was just here for a job, but something about her drew me in, and I wasn't sure if I wanted it to stop. She's completely different from anyone I've ever met.