Third Attempt At Love

|Ch-3| First Love

First love and confession of love. Something we wait for dearly to do or to happen to us. Oh how it sends shivers down your spine by the thought of a person liking you the same way, you like that person.

Confession. A common mistake we all make. It's not a good idea to lay your heart open like that in the first confession. To confess so openly that it's taken as a need or desperation rather than being taken as pure and innocent emotions.

A mistake I have learned. A mistake I will not repeat. It's never too good to lay your heart open for that one person at a young age. People change. Dreams change. And so does love. It's never too late to back away or we all might end up like Mathew. In other words, like me. A thing abandoned. Someone took it for granted. A brokenhearted piece who has trust issues.

What's the point of this money when I am not happy? When I do not have my children with me? I am all left alone in this world, living to sustain myself. A job that I chose for my passion turned into a jailhouse with snakes all around.

One might think that watching the pitiful lives of these celebrities would have brought some inner peace to my mind. I would have wondered how well off I am than these unfortunate people. But it only brought me more torment. It reminded me why I am all alone like this. It reminds me how quickly people abandon you for this same glamorous life.

It makes me think if I had chosen some other path that day...would I have been happy?

10th October 2013

“He asked me OUT!” I declared as soon as Karen left the house. I jumped up on the sleeping figure of my sister. She stirred in her sleep.

“Hsjjsj?” She asked without opening her eyes. Feeling super excited and joyful, I leaned in and shouted in her ear to make my point.

“I said...HE ASKED ME OUT!! AHHHHHHHH”

“What the hell?” She threw me off the bed, holding her precious ear in her hand. Her honey brown eyes flashed in anger and annoyance at my act.

Meet Cindy. My big sister. She may seem like an angel from her cute brown hair pulled in a pigtail but he gets more irrational than me sometimes. If our parents weren't alive and she hadn't promised to take care of me to our mom. She had probably been beating the shit out of me right now.

“You-” She started.

“He. Asked. Me. Out!” I was repeatedly not fazed by her angry looks. I looked up at the ceiling sighing and swung my head left and right with euphoric currents running inside me.

“And who is this he? I am concerned what are you doing?” She pointed out my head motions and got up from the bed.

She went inside her bathroom to brush and bathe while sitting outside in her room. Still staring at the ceiling in disbelief. Did he ask me out? Does that mean it's a date? Or does that mean 'let's go and eat some pizza' like we usually do? Does he finally look at me as a woman? Does he find me pretty? Why did he say that so seriously though?

Either way, it's a good thing I didn't call him orangutan or he might have changed his mind to ask me out. Who will want to go with a girl who calls him orangutan and says that's the reason she looked at his stomach.

The door opened, and Cindy came out of the bathroom and gave me a long look before kicking me. “You don't have college? Go get ready”

She said and opened the Almira. The dresses of various brands from inside came into my view and smiled with mischief. “Cindy?”

“What?” She said without glancing at me as she hunted for a dress in her wardrobe. My eyes settled on a red dress that will match perfectly with my black boots. I smiled as widely and innocently as I could.