Chapter 5:
There is the question one time I went to attend a fellowship for young people “who am I? How difficult it is to tell who you are? In Genesis 1:27 it said there…”God created man in His own image…he created male and female only”. As the world is getting fragile and youngsters now became more independent and get easily influence by the environment, how important now is this question.
As I go on doing my self-reflection on the topic I ask the deepest part of my heart and soul. Who I really am I? It is said that we are born with the image of God and hat male and female were only the person that God has created. I was ask to tell my reflection on it,it was a nerve wracking question as I need to balnce put what im goint to say because I might hurt someone by my words if I don’t think carefully. I was ask that is changing our physical features also change our gender,and if it’s a sin to change it. My answer goes like this “if a person is change something that he or she was born to or on how God created him or hem that’s already a act of beong not contented and that is a sin but having like skin care as I example doesn’t mean your not contented instead you are grooming yourself and that its not bad to take care of what God has given you because it’s a sense of responsibility.” After this encounter I became more open minded to hear others.
For us we are etting influence by the desire of world. We want tp belong to it that’s why we are easily get pursuasded by the calling of physical and environmental needs. What Im talking now is that sometimes as we are influence, therea are also factors to consider and think of why we are confuse by who we are. Lets state as an example of what I went through aroud year of 2017 when I was triggered and suffered from mental disorder a personality disorder it is a confusion and a hard thing to deal with as it feels like youre loosing yourself and your personality. Going through to that phase of my life became more hard and Gave me pain. Having that kid of illness is a punishment,sufferes because eof trauma.I began to dpoubt myself ,for who I am an dfor what purpose I have. In my like aor=und sixteen years of living I never doubted that Im a girl as I always interested in boys but after I went through heartbreaks and some unaccepted traumas that I went through that time I started to have this sudden change of feelings and I know and aware of it. I became more open minded and encounter the “gays & lesbian “ thing. I started entertaining thos efeelings and as I go on I foubnd comfort on it but after that as I began to dshift again that’s why I became a bisexual who is having interest to both parties but deep inside me that feeling that went so far away from me is thay “im a girl”. I used to be so sure of myself just like ther girls that fantasies beauty and being admired by a lot but maybe I got too much admired of. I was taken advantage of and more people are getting rude to me not to mention that I really look good and quite popular but Its like a payment of my arrogantness and foolishness.
Till now I still hav this lingering feeling of uncertainness to who am I and what I was born to. I know that even thses days I wsa not able and capable of facing this but I slowly taking it to action and keep on learning about myself. I believe that to able to accept of what we are we need to get to know of what we are. I still have my long ways to finally see of wjat im made of or for.
There might be confusion on you now as well and a lot of things are going through to your mind now but remember that you can be who you are but don’t forget what you ar boorn to do. Its not easy to live for what we want as nowadays the world is becoming more crucial and open minded but to the extent that we cant love anymore by our own will as we are laredady being led by other people,people opinion,comment or things they said sbout on wht we should be or do. We still the writer of our own life its just we don’t have enough courage to reveal of what we are. We are afraid of what others will say, we are anxious by our actions and decisions as we don’t like getting point out by others people but we should stop it. We need to let others show their true self we cant just say and do whatever we wanted to and likewise.
“Im still confuse of who am I but I don’t need tor rush things as for sure I will find it soon,I jyust need porempatient for this one as everyone I know have difficult on finding it as well. “
_@QueenMenalyn14
