Hummingbird Heartbeat

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Give him the contract," Thorin rumbled, and the Dwarves cheered slightly amongst themselves as Balin stood up, searching his robe for the contract. There was a soft 'thump' from the other room, no one heard but Bilbo and Gandalf, and since Bilbo was a bit busy unrolling the contract, Gandalf glanced into the other room and froze. Bilbo was running through the part about only getting one-fourteenth of the profit when a loud, strong voice came from the sitting room.

"You make me feel like I'm losin' my virginity! The first time, every time, when you're touchin' me!" The whole company froze in surprise and Thorin stood abruptly, spinning to face the direction the voice came from. "I make you bloom like a flower that you never seen. Under the sun we are one buzzing energy!" the voice continued, and Bilbo was wide eyed in surprise. He really couldn't deal with anymore unexpected guests tonight. Fili and Kili were climbing over themselves to get out of the dining room and see the mystery singer but Thorin was frozen in place.

You should know by now that a Dwarf has one true love, and while they may take many lovers and marry anyone they like, they only ever truly bloom when they are with their One. They know their One by the song in their hearts, matching the voice that spills from their One's lips. Thorin Oakenshield had never heard any music. There had never been a song or so much as a tune in his head, until that voice ripped through his soul and the song filled his mind. And now she was in the other room, singing. What trick of fate was this?

Bilbo walked quickly down the hall to the doorway with Fili and Kili just behind and several others trailing after, but Thorin stayed rooted in place, unable to move with the song filling him up and making his heart thump wildly in his chest.

"Let's pollinate to create a family tree, This evolution with you comes naturally. Some call it science, we call it chemistry. This is the story of the birds and the bees," sang the voice and Bilbo saw her. And it thoroughly startled him out of his mind. A girl, about Hobbit sized, with pointed ears and jaw length brown hair was on his couch. She was laying with her back across the cushions and her legs splayed over the back, head dangling over the edge so her hair brushed the ground. She wore strange pants made of a dark material and a blue shirt that only came to her hips with long sleeves. She had a strange white string dangling from her ears that snaked to a strange purple box in her hand.

"Even when seasons change, our love still stays the same." She was singing with her eyes closed and her feet bounced and kicked the air as she twisted and writhed slightly on the couch. She didn't seem to notice the Dwarves staring at her or anything around her as she continued her very confusing song. "You give me that hummingbird heartbeat. Spread my wings and make me fly, the taste of your honey is so sweet when you give me the hummingbird heartbeat, hummingbird heartbeat!" she sang, wiggling slightly so she sank further off the couch.

By now Thorin had gathered himself and walked into the sitting room, intent on discovering his One, when he noticed the strange girl and a low growl crawled from his chest. But she kept singing and that was definitely what was in his head. The sound of strange instruments rolling in his mind accompanying her voice. Who was she? No one could move, even though Kili was looking at her in an excited way and Fili looked intensely thoughtful. Bilbo had had just about enough of surprises, but he wasn't about to be so rude as to interrupt her song. When she stopped and started humming something else, Bilbo inched forward and cleared his throat.

"I see you ridin' 'round town with the guy I love and I'm like fuck you!" she said in a sing song voice and Bilbo bristled.

"EXCUSE ME!?" he shouted and the girl screamed and jumped straight up, falling off the couch and rolling to stop at Kili's feet. She leapt to her feet, the strange strings dislodged from her ears to display strange white rocks.

"THOMAS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!" she roared then froze. Her green eyes flickered over Bilbo's form and she leaned back slightly as if startled. "Okay. Hobbit," she said in a deadpan. Bilbo bristled and she looked around her eyes growing wide. "Bag End," then she span in place and took in the Dwarves staring at her. "And Company," she said and nodded once. "Which means..." She glanced out a window and saw the wide expanse of the Shire outside. She squealed and leapt into the air laughing ecstatically.

The room as a whole leaned away from her, Bilbo sinking into an armchair and staring in confusion at her as she danced, heavy, brown boots that rose to her shins thumping on his carpet. Gandalf seemed amused and Kili looked about as excited as she did.

"Oh this is absolutely fantastic!" she said in delight, doing an elegant pirouette in place that looked impossible with her boots. "This is the most spectacularly-extra-magnificently-fantabulous thing to ever happen in the history of whenever!" she squealed. She suddenly froze and grinned with her eyes wild and dilated. "Bye, don't follow me," she breathed and took three quick steps toward the Dwarves in the doorway. They tripped over themselves getting out of her way and Kili was the only one who didn't move. She smiled happily at him and patted his head fondly.

"Huh?" Fili said.

"Be good now, Ki. Fi," she said and continued past, dodging past a very aggressive looking Dwalin. "Watch it, Herc," she said and shook a finger at him. Then she spotted Thorin by the main door and she smiled. "Aww, you look so sweet," she said with a cruel smile that made him bristle. She rolled her eyes and yanked the door open with one swift move. She patted his cheek as she walked out and he froze, unused to people touching him. Kili looked after her forlornly and Gandalf smiled a bit, a twinkle in his eye.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked weakly and Thorin shook his head.

"Dwalin. Fetch her back," he said and his guard nodded.

"We'll go too!" Kili said and yanked Fili forward. "We know our way through the Shire," he said proudly.

"Do you now?" Thorin said and Kili deflated. "Go," he waved and the three stepped outside The girl was no where in sight. How could she have left so fast?