My Greatest Downfall (Published under Summit Media)

Final Chapter

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Part 1 of 2 

I stand still on my spot. I won't leave this place. She must be kidding. One by one the guest was leaving. It's already five o'clock in the afternoon and I don't get tired of standing. No, I will never get tired of waiting for her. She's only seven hours late. I waited for her for almost three years and I made it. This is just a fucking seven hours of my life.

Deep inside, I pity myself so much. All of them were leaving. I, being not hopeless was expecting her to come.

"I think we should go." said Dad. He tapped my right shoulder and I felt the world crashed upon me. Ang sakit lang. I didn't expect her to do this to me. It's too cruel and it is selfish.

"Mauna na kayo. I want to be alone." I said. Napaupo na lang ako sa mahabang kahoy na upuan. I can't even look at my guests. I can't even look at them. I know that I looked so pathetic right now. It was so degrading. Who would have thought that I will be abandoned on my special day? Not even one. Not even me.

I placed my fingers on my temples and massaged it on a circular motion. What if's are forming inside my head. Like, what if she has changed her mind? She realized that she didn't love me. What if she got into an accident? But it couldn't be because she texted me that she is safe and not to worry. How can I not to worry about her? She's my life.

I tried calling her phone but it was offline. I didn't know what came on her mind to ditch me on our wedding day. I didn't know the reasons why she left me. I didn't know why she made me the center of embarrassment. I am damn clueless.

"I couldn't believe this." mom said and her tone was mad. She reached for my arms and gently squeezed it. "Uuwi na tayo. I don't want them giving you that kind of looks. Remember that we are Sy, we're born as a center of attraction and not embarrassment." I dropped my gaze. She is right. I didn't get this kind of looks that they are giving. Not even in my entire life.

But I shook my head, "Gusto ko pong mapag-isa." I whispered. My parents gave me a sympathetic look. Great, even my parents looked at me pathetically.

My friends came in the picture and all of them were clueless too. Even Stephanie, her best friend. Magkasama silang dalawa kanina and she didn't know what happened to her. She said that Trish was very excited a while ago. "I know you're not okay. But please bare in your mind that she has a reason." she said. She is right but I don't care what fucking reason is that. Bakit mas mahalaga pa ang rason na 'yon para talikuran n'ya ako sa mismong araw ng kasal namin? Bakit hinayaan n'ya ako maging katawa-tawa? If she loves me, she'll hate seeing me like this.

Carl, Dominique and Kurt was sitting beside me. They were speechless. Hindi nila makuhang ipagtanggol ang babaeng mahal ko. Paano nga naman nila ipagtatanggol kung hindi rin nila alam ang rason n'ya para iwan ako.

They ran out of words. And I ran out of words expressing how devastated I am today. I have the reasons to get mad at her but I don't know why there is inside myself that stopped me from hating her.

Before they leave me alone, Stefan sat on my lap. "Everything will be fine kuya." he put something on my suit's pocket and I didn't bother to look what it is. "Be strong. Okay? Call us if you need our help. I'm not happy seeing you unhappy." he said, then hugged me. Each one of them disappeared out of my sight. 

I am now alone. Mas naramdaman ko ang sakit. The silent atmosphere brought nostalgia. My shoulders started to move. It was painful. Parang gusto ko ng patayin ang sarili ko. Para akong tanga na nangangapa ng rason. Tears were slipping out of my eyes. Love is supposed to mend the broken pieces. Love is supposed to heal and not to drowned you in misery.