Last Chance, Caroline

March 2008

March is unfinished, but I'm still working on it, I'll be sure to upload when I'm done :)

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March

March 9th, 2008

I haven't written in over a week. I haven't talked to Nico since our fight - I called it, it's been over two weeks now. I suspect he hates me, and what pisses me off to no end is the fact that he's gotten back together with Jessica. Today is Sunday, but this little scene happened Friday afternoon. I saw them at Jessica's locker, they were holding hands. Well, Jessica was holding Nico's hand. They both saw me as I walked by, and Nico let Jessica's hands drop away from his. Jessica gave me an evil stare, and even started to walk after me.

She waited until I got to a more-isolated hallway, when she screamed at me, "What the fuck is your problem?!"

I flipped her off, and kept walking.

"No!" She yelled, catching up to me. "No." She grabbed my shoulders, and spun me around.

"I suggest you take your filthy hands off me in the next half a second, if you want to stay uninjured." I snarled. She smiled at me and didn't budge.

I grabbed her arm, and ripped it cleanly from its socket.

Well, I didn't, because that's impossible, but I extremely wished I did. Instead, I shoved her backwards, and she fell.

"Fight!" Some kid in the hall yelled. People turned around and stared, and a crowd formed around us in the once empty hallway.

"Fuck you!" Jessica screamed at me. I turned around, shoved kids from the crowd out of my way, and continued walking. "Fuck you, you attention-whore bitch!" Jessica continued screaming. "I hope you slit your fucking wrists and die!"

"I hope I do, too!" I yelled back, and stormed down the hallway.

I cried for twenty minutes when I got home, about what Jessica said to me. And the sad part was, I actually hoped what she said was true.

March 10, 2008.

I was called down to the school psychiatrist, Mrs. Donovan, this morning before first period.

Before I had a chance to even settle down, she said, "Friday, I hear there was a fight between you and Jessica Leedley."

"No." I snapped. "I was walking, minding my own business, when she started shit."

"I'm not here for accusations. I'm here to help. Jessica has already been suspended. We were going to suspend you, if it wasn't for something you said. A teacher heard you say you hoped you slit your wrists and die."

I started to argue with her, except at that moment the sleeve of my shirt rolled up, exposing the scars of my brutally cut up wrists. I could no longer disagree, so I smiled plastically, and said, "Yes, Mrs. Donovan, I do."

Mrs. Donovan looked at me caringly, and said, "I'm going to write you a prescription to meet with a professional psychiatrist."

"I can't though, my family has no money. There's no way I can afford that."

"Then you can always talk to me, for free. What do you think is the cause of your suicidal behavior? Is it your money situation?"

"No," I said straightforwardly.

"Do you know what it is?"

"Yes." I then told Mrs. Donovan the causes of all my troubles - everything. I was eight weeks pregnant (actually, since Nico got me knocked up January 22, it would be 8 weeks tomorrow), I hated my parents because they're fucking potheads, the "father of my baby" left me to be with Jessica Leedley, who suddenly started hating me for no reason, and my only friend, Lucey Myers, vanished into thin air, and stole the only drug that I had ever been on - OxyContin, something Jessica was addicted to, and was sleeping with my boyfriend to get it.