*Top Gear music intro*
"TONIGHT!" A familiar voice said.
"I use a Hammer"
"Richard buys a hat"
"James explains Horsepower"
"And a new presenter on our program"
As the intro finishes, the main camera moves to The Trio standing near the Holy Trinity, Three super cars; The McLAREN P1, Porshe 918 spyder (Weissach package) and The Ferrari La Ferrari. The studio is filled with aplaud as a new season of Top Gear stats.
"Thank you, Thank you. Now." Clarkson says. "This being a new series of Top Gear, we thought we'd try out a new presenter. He's Called Areg Mirzoyan. And he is Part Armenian, part British. Now the reason we have these three cars here is because he is going to review them. Play the tape." Clarkson ordered.
"I didn't expect to already get into action of driving insanely fast car on my first day of work but apparently" I explained as i approached the camera, "I will"
The camera shifts into a datk room with The Holy Trinity in it.
"Now what you see here is a tripple crown, a collection of supercars with technology from a Prius, but dont be fooled."
The camera shifts on the track and the McLAREN storms by.
"Oh my god" I say in fear as I take the first corner. "You will literraly soak your pants in urine if you're not Lewis Hamilton or Michael Schumacher" then I take the Chicago corner while screaming all the way. "This is so scary, I knew that the car was terrifing but i had no idea that this car is THIS terrifying." I joke while trying to drive through The Hammerhead without drama. "The throttle is sharp, its like having a nuclear suitcase ready to accidentaly destroy Europe." I joke again. "My underpants need urgent replacement!"
After some time I stop and get out of the car.
"Well this is a car for men with the biggest, hardest gentlmens sausage imaginable. If you don't have one, apparently there is a solution" I say while walking to The Porshe 918 Spyder.
In a second I blitz through The Hammerhead kicking the rear end out.
"Now this is something else." I say while exiting the corner. "The Steering wheel isn't a mad dog that wants to eat your bones, no, its a cute little puppy." I chuckle in amusement. "Which is predictable, 1. because it German, 2. It has the one of the most sophisticated traction control systems in the world." I explain
I take some time with the Porsche and then I finnaly stop and get out of it.
"I like the Porsche as a nice comfortable crusing machine that you can take to the Nurburgring, do a lap while listening to AC/DC and then go to the pub listening to "Moon Blue" and have yourself some beer." I explain.
"But there is a problem... It is... boring, you always have control, theres absolutely no way you can crash it, or spun out. But suprisingly, there's a solution to that too."
I move to the Ferrari LaFerrari. "This is a car that shares its attributes with the 918 and the P1" I say.
Another camera shift and now I'm blitzing through "The Michael Gambon" Corner. I chuckle violently in amusement. "If the these three are the Holy Trinity of supercars, then this is the King!" I say before entering the first corner of the track. "Now im thinking 'Oh No I'm going to poop my underpants' but no" i say delighted, while taking the corner. "This is magnificent. The thing that I like most about this car is it's F1 K.E.R.S system which recovers energy wasted during braking etc and uses it to make this car fast in the corners, and in the straits. But it isn't a uncomfortable miserable track car, no. Its a comfortable car and I like it."
After having fun with The LaFerrari, the camera shifts back to a dark room with all three cars showcased.
"As I said this is The Tripple Crown, It's like The 2000km of Daytona, 12 hours The Sebring, 24 Hours of Le Mans. Its not just a Holy Trinity, it's THE Holy Trinity. It is a history lesson described masterfully in just one page. It's simply astonishing." I say as we return to the studio with The audience applauding. I joined The Trio near the cars.
*Audience applaud*
"Right. So a part british, part armenian producer reviewing these cars, you like them all, dont you Areg?" Jeremy starts.
"Yes, all of them are brilliant." I say confidently
"But I have to ask. If you were a millionare, billionare whatever, which one would you buy." James asks.
"Which one, huh?" I asked..
"Yes" James says while crossing his fingers.
"Well if i want to buy a supercar that i would drive from time to time, it would be a supercar, none of those german engineering." I explained. "So that would be... The Ferrari TheFerrari" I answered destroying the smug face on Hammond and Clarkson.
"YES" James Screamed in victory.
"Well thats understandble-" Jeremy is interupted by me.
"I'll piss my shoes driving that car, mate!"
"What about the Porsche?" Hammond asked in disbelief.
"BOOOOORIIIIIIING" I said loudly.
"I think from now on we can call you by the name 'Captain Slow's son'. " Jeremy joked.
*Audience laughter*
"Well... that fits" I joke.
*Audience laughter*
"Ok, now, moving on! The Producers..." Hammond continiued
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Hey guys! Third one already and this is veeeery long(the longest to date) and before you ask I'm not british in any way, just armenian, the reason why i blended brits into my origins is not to ruin the "3 middle aged british men" style. Exept it became "3 middle aged men with a gentleman in his 30s" although I am not 30yo i.r.l. :
And before you ask 'Would you really buy the Ferrari?' Yes I would. I like the Styling and the Flamboyent personalty of the car.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed this one!
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Top Gear
HumorI kinda miss the old top gear and since I'm on wattpad why not write some Top Gear oneshots. I will try to update this weekly (while school) or daily. Enjoy! This accually includes me as one of the presenters in the 3rd part. I didn't remove anyone...
