Ineffable (Crowley x female OC)

In which Everything is Fluffy and Cute

"Crow! Get in here, it's starting!" Jenna yelled from the couch.

"What do you mean, 'it's starting?!" cried the demon from the kitchen. "Just keep it paused!"

"I can't! I-It's my powers, they-they're forcing me to press play!" Jenna groaned as she clutched the remote dramatically in front of her, "straining" to keep her thumb (which was indeed hovering shakily over the play button) from pressing down. "Its too strong! I can't stop myself! Ahhhhh!!!"

"Give me that, you little faker," laughed Crowley, yanking the remote out of her hands playfully before setting down their homemade, not miracled, brownie sundaes on the coffee table and settling into the couch.

"Oh, you saved me!" sighed Jenna dramatically, pretending to swoon. "Thank you, my hero!"

Crowley rolled his eyes, a gesture which only enhanced the glowing happiness radiating from his handsome face. "You are the most impatient person I've ever met," he teased, reaching a hand out to play with her hair.

Jenna snuggled into his arms and pulled a soft blanket around her legs. "Liar," she replied, eliciting another snicker from her boyfriend. "Besides, you rush me way more when it's my turn to get the snacks!"

"That's only because you're so slow!" smirked Crowley, lightly tapping her nose.

"You know what?" said Jenna with a wicked grin and narrowed eyes, stealing the remote and turning off the TV. "I don't think you deserve to watch "Stress Relief!"

"Give me that, you little--!" Jenna erupted into giggles as the demon tried to grab the remote back playfully.

"Ah-ha!" Crowley announced triumphantly as he snatched it back smoothly. "Victory is mine!"

"Stupid long demon arms," Jenna muttered, rolling her eyes and crossing her own comparatively shorter appendages.

"All the better to hold you with, my dear," replied Crowley smoothly as his lanky limbs slithered around her shoulders and hugged her tight to his chest, kissing her head.

Jenna giggled and twisted back to look at him, since they were both facing the large flat screen. "Fine. Just start the show, Slenderman."

Crowley chuckled and gazed lovingly at her glowing face. "As you wish, love," he whispered, gently brushing her long brunette hair out of her face before kissing her full lips softly.

"Alright, enough distracting," she scolded after a few steamy seconds, grabbing the remote and turning back to the TV. "It's time for the best cold open you've ever seen. Ready?"

"Ready," replied the demon, focusing on the screen as Jenna pressed play.

"Last week I gave a fire safety talk," said Dwight Schrute in a voiceover as the screen showed him hammering a metal key into a door, "and nobody listened. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint," he continued, now nonchalantly heating the door handle with a blowtorch.

"'PowerPoint is boring,'" stage whispered Jenna and Dwight simultaneously. Crowley snickered and kissed her head again as Dwight threw a lit cigarette into a trashcan full of paper, remarking sinisterly, "Today, smoking is gonna save lives."

"Oh, he is so Hastur," said the demon, shaking his head at the overzealous salesman. "The smoking, starting fires, everyone hating him--it's uncanny, really."

"No, Hastur is Creed," argued Jenna as Michael yelled at everyone to 'stay fucking calm!' "They're both very white, insane creeps with no social skills. Dwight is Dagon, based on what you've told me: major kiss-ass, nerd and naively trusting Teacher's Pet."