Ineffable (Crowley x female OC)

In which an Angel, a Demon and a Celestern Walk into Purgatory.....

Jenna, as a supernatural being raised by humans, had very limited experience transporting herself to different places using her Celesternal powers. This compounded with the fact that she was confined to her boyfriend's flat meant that she could really only Travel 100 feet or so (the farthest horizontal distance in Crowley's apartment, specifically from the back of Jenna's spacious closet to the top lefthand corner of Crowley's room) without getting severely nauseous. She no longer passed out, as she did when Aziraphale whisked her and Crowley away to Switzerland in July, but her body still rather disliked the process of its molecules dissolving into tiny specks at point A, traveling through space and time and rearranging themselves into a Jenna-like shape at point B. 

All this to say that, upon arriving in an imposing office building in what was presumably Purgatory (roughly 17 billion light years from Crowley's Mayfield flat in London) after a 10 second journey, the young Celestern promptly vomited all over the slick marble floor of a very clean, posh lobby. 

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry!" soothed Crowley, rubbing Jenna's back lightly and trying to look into her greenish face. "We should have put a charm on you or something--I'm such an idiot, I didn't even think--"

"It's fine, Crowley," Aziraphale assured him, vanishing Jenna's sick even as she continued to retch involuntarily. "It's my fault, I should have boosted her aura's Health levels before we departed...or at LEAST given her a peppermint, I carry them around for just such an occasion!"

"You carry peppermints around in case people start puking around you?" Crowley smirked, raising an eyebrow. 

Aziraphale blushed. "You know what I mean," he muttered as Jenna stopped gagging and just stood with her head bent over the magically clean and unscented marble floor, breathing heavily and shaking slightly. Without taking his golden eyes from Jenna's pallid face, Crowley pulled a clean white handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and lovingly cleaned the sweat from her brow and sick from her mouth while murmuring little reassuring things like, "It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay. It's all over, no more Traveling."

"Ugh," groaned Jenna, snapping her mouth and face clean and leaning her face into Crowley's chest defeatedly. "Great. Their first impression of me as a Celestern is some stupid American girl vomiting all over a nice clean lobby. Might as well be drunk on Budweiser and wearing Daisy Dukes, asking if I can meet the Queen or something equally ridiculous."

Crowley groaned sympathetically and held her tightly. "Oh love, you're so hard on yourself. No one with half a brain could ever think that about you, even the Bureaucracy." He smiled lovingly down at her skeptical face, brushing a stray brown hair back into her bun. "That being said, I'm more than willing to get drunk, put on the shorts and sneak into Buckingham Palace right now if it'll make you feel better, love." 

Jenna laughed and kissed his cheek. 

"It won't surprise those wankers much," continued Crowley thoughtfully, grinning broadly at how much Jenna's eyes were now twinkling, "but it would certainly be an excellent distraction!"

"And what are you if not an excellent distraction?" added Jenna fondly, gazing up into her boyfriend's magnificent yellow orbs of light. Crowley laughed, heartily and spontaneously, and her heart skipped around like a child through a flower field. 

"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" boomed a commanding, clear male voice. 

The trio spun around just in time to see several hulking, heavily armored and well-armed guards approaching them, dark eyes glaring distrustfully at the newcomers. 

"Oh, dear," murmured Aziraphale. "I forgot about this. Um," he continued, addressing the guards (who had now surrounded him, Jenna and Crowley, tall spears in their left hands and flaming swords hanging off their right hips) in a louder, somewhat higher voice and with his trademark angelic smile, "hello there. We are here on the orders of--"