Depression and heart break isn't a good combination. Imani found herself dealing with her momma issues and finding herself. Imani was in loved at a point in time but he dogged her out. However, they are friends. Her current relationship is abusive a...
I had to hang up on the girls. I felt like it was my fault that they weren't further in their love lives. See my girls ride for me. I didn't realize that I took something from them due to my hurt and pain.
Trying to focus in class was hard because truly not only did I feel bad, I also felt like Naim was getting closer and closer to see me. I can't deal with facing him. I don't want to hear him out. I just want those feelings to be buried with me whenever my time comes. But I know that's not how life works. The fact that one of these days I will have to face him is beyond me. Ugh!
"Ms. Paul do you care to answer the questions?" my science professor asked.
Looking up at the professor. I shook my head no.
"Fuck" I mumbled under my breath. I needed to get this shit together because I can't be so off that I'm fucking up in school.
Class was over and I was getting ready to leave. That was until I saw him. I knew life wasn't going to allow me to be fucking great.
There he was. Naim Ricks. Standing there in the flesh. Fine as fucking wine might I add. But nope I couldn't deal with this at the moment.
"Paul, I know you see me." Naim called out.
Walking fast to my car was the only thing I could think of. I didn't want to this right now. While tears were streaming down my face. I can't take this.
"IMANI STOP!!!" Naim spoke with firm in his voice.
Stopping in my tracks and turning around. I looked at Naim. Damn this man is everything and then some. Looking in his eyes, was my downfall. "Naim let me go I don't want to do this with you. We can continue living in this world like we don't know each other." I said.
"Imani you really think I'm about to let this shit keep going on like this? We need to talk this out and do it now. Six years is enough time for you to be gone out my life. Now, lets get down to the bottom of this."
"You think it's that fucking easy Ny. Do you know what the fuck you did to me? So, why the fuck do you think I need to deal with you now? You didn't chase nor find me six years ago so why the fuck would I sit here and want anything to do with you. You was fucking shorty ass and didn't have a fucking care in the world. You broke us the fuck up. You Naim is the one that broke my heart and the reason that I'm in the fucked up situation that I am in now. So, excuse me if I don't want to be in your presence or fucking talk to you my nigga. Stay the fuck away from me."
My this time I stopped crying just enough to say what I needed. Getting in my car.
Heavy by Kiana Lede started playing and I just cried.
I don't got my priorities straight Don't know who I'm gonna be today I'm no victim, but I deal with shit on the daily Something pullin', I can't get away Never livin' outside of my head I don't like showin' weakness, so I always fake itMaybe some day, I will gain composure Maybe when I'm older, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared 'Cause something feels like it's weighing me down It takes control, turns my faith into doubt Even when it's all working out I'm on my feet, then I pull out the ground So heavy, oh
I couldn't continue on like this. Like how the fuck do I not only deal with Tony and his fuck shit. But to exist in the same damn state as Naim and see him move on when that should of been me. Let's not forget my family and how I'm trying to raise a kid, while in school chasing my dreams.
Crying more and more.
"Come on Imani you have to boss up on everyone that not only doubted you but hurt you. You have to believe in you. This is a minor setback, but "BABY GIRL" that comeback gone make em sweat." Looking in the car mirror speaking life into myself. I had to wipe my tears. It's time!
Pulling up to the apartment I've been looking at for some time. I got the call that I was approved and I'm going to put down my deposit and rent. I'm hoping that I can move in this week. I was ready to get the hell away. I've looked at furniture online so the only thing I'm waiting for is my keys go I can order.
An hour later I was walking out the apartment with my keys. I drove to my apartment. Walked in taking the air and the way it looked in. This was finally my own space with just me and Kenya. Lord I need this.
Breaking down again. Thinking of how far I've came and all the odds that were up against me. I couldn't believe that I could do this without Tony and any help for anyone else. At least these were tears of joy.
Is it bad that I wasn't telling the girls that I got my keys to move. I feel like I fucked their lives up enough so I didn't want to put them in any other situation. Closing and locking my door, ya girl finally had a place to call her own.
I will move in tomorrow while Stormi and Maliyah is gone.
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For all the females that's been heart broken, you know that feeling with things start to come together for you. If not, keep going and trust that your good is coming.
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Chapter 10 (973 words)
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