A Real Nigga's Love

Imani

"Big Mama, what are you doing here? Where am I?" I asked her. This place felt like peace and Lord's know I need some peace in my life. 

"Imani, you came to visit me. But you can't stay. We do need to talk though?" Big Mama said. 

"How are you doing my baby and how is ChinaDoll?" 

"Big Mama, she is doing good. She is getting bigger and she is so smart. Me on the other hand. I've been going through it. I made some mistakes and don't know how to correct them. The truth has be brought to my attention on why Naim was doing some of the things he was doing, and I don't know if I could forgive him. The sad part is Mama is isn't letting up. He has been around even when I don't know. I love the man but I just don't know."

"Then there is Tony. He turned out the be a cokehead that don't have money and likes to party. He isn't a good father to Kenya and I don't love him. He also don't know how to keep his hands to himself."

"Wait that nigga put his hands on my baby? Imani, you should already know what to do with that nigga. He better hope God change my heart because I'm about to hunt that nigga in his sleep" Big Mama was cutting up. 

"Baby girl. I need you to forgive all the hurt in your heart and soul. Imani you are a great person and deserve the world. Stop limiting that due to your past. How are you blocking your own blessings because you scared of the outcome. If things don't work that doesn't mean give up. It only means to take another route. Tony not the one. But you dwelling on the past issues with Naim and he hasn't left your side over something Tony did to you. Trust that God didn't bring yall back together for no reason. Take a moment and allow yourself to be love. Baby, it's okay to accept love and to love yourself. You are not a mistake Imani. God has great things waiting for you and happiness with no strings attached is one." 

"Remember what I said Mani, you deserve the best and don't limit yourself. Let that hurt go honey. Healing is the only way you are going to be able to move forward. My daughter may have had a messed up way of being a mother and loving you. Just remember some wasn't built as strong as you. She couldn't cope with her hurt and pain. You can overcome this all. I don't want to see you here again by the hand of a man, if you not sick due to old age don't bring yo ass back up here okay. I love you and I'm always watching over you and Kenya. Tell everyone I said hi. I got to go now." Big Mama disappeared. 

Opening my eyes trying to see where she went. My Big Mama didn't know I needed her to get through all this. The bright lights made me close my eyes again and tears just began to spill down my face. 

"IMANI. IMANI. Doctor I think she woke." I heard Naim voice. 

Slowly opening my eyes again, "Ms. Paul, we are glad to see you up. Don't try to talk let me remove the tubbing out of your mouth and the nurse is coming with some water for you. You gave us all a scare." the doctor said. 

Turning my head, my eyes met his. There was Naim in the flesh. He looked as if relief came over him. 

'Hey." I said reaching my hand out. 

"Don't move to much Sweets, let these people get you comfortable so you don't hurt anything. I'm calling everyone to let them know you are up." Naim said. 

I felt like he was being distanced. I guess he doesn't want to get to attached to me. I understand, thinking about what Big Mama said. I knew I had my work cut out for me. 

About an hour later, Momma Rick and Kenya walked in with Stormi and Maliyah behind them. I was so damn happy to see my baby. I needed her. Kenya got in the bed with me and began kissing me all over my face. 

"Mommy, I miss you so much. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you Mommy." Kenya began crying. 

I had to look away because I was putting my baby through to much fuck shit, she felt like she had to save me. I wasn't feeling this. Naim looked at me and got up. I was sad because he looked mad at me. 

"ChinaDoll it isn't your fault. You did save Mommy. You called your Aunties. You did great baby." Momma Rick said kissing me on my forehead and kissing Kenya on the cheek. 

"Give him time Mani, I will be back to check on you. I will give yall time." Momma said leaving the room. 

"Bitch we thought you check out on our ass. We didn't know what to do out here. You know we a damn trio. We don't fit well with only two of us. I'm so happy to see you though. I missed you sis. I love you." Stormi came and gave me a hug. 

Maliyah just stood there crying. I didn't know what my people went through during this time. But I know I fucked them up. I have to make better decisions on the men I choose to be with. No, its not my fault Tony turned out to be a fuck boy. I'm not taking that blame. I will now have to do what Big Mama said, because if I don't heal I will continue making the same mistakes. 

"Maliyah, please stop crying. I'm trying to be gangsta in here and you crying. She woke sis. We back like cooked crack. We not gone let this shit happen again." Stormi walked over to Maliyah and wrapped around her. My girl was breaking down and I know it can't be all about  me. 

Hearing the door open and walked in Symere and Armani. "Welcome the fuck back sis. I glad we didn't lose you. I wouldn't be able to handle that nigga Naim if we did." Symere smiling and giving me a hug. They came in with gifts and balloons. 

"Imani, I love you. I will back to see you." Maliyah said, giving me and Kenya a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

I don't what's going on with my girl but once she saw Armani grab her arm, I knew it had something to do with him. 

"So you gone just walk past me like we don't have shit to discuss." Armani said. 

"Nigga if you don't get you hands the fuck off me, I will forget that I'm in a hospital and beat yo ass. I don't have shit to say to you. You dead to me." Maliyah snatched away and walked out.  

I look at Stormi and she shrugged her shoulders. I don't know what was going on with them too but I'm guessing Maliyah will tell us when she comes back. Enjoying the family. I'm happy to see all them again. I knew I wanted Tony dead. I also knew I needed to talk to Naim. I began to get tired and finally drifted off to sleep. I was a bit scared because I didn't want to go back into a coma. But I knew the drugs they gave me for the pain was gone kick in eventually. 

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Chapter 29 (1291 words) 

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