D&D Journals [Cynde] Plague and Penitence

Day 271

I am alone once again and it is—as it has always been—my fault. I had found the others, simply by accident, while Sadira and I were on our way to defeat Benzul. Astonishingly, only a day had passed for them, while months upon months had passed for Sadira and me. I was incredibly relieved to be reunited with them, but Oo'gra'deeth had retreated into a cocoon of sorts and Aria was...distant. It was nice to have Cora and Tordek back, though.

Sadira and I caught them up on the plan, which wasn't much of a plan at all aside from somehow stopping Benzul from entrancing us all. Sadira insisted on stopping him "by any means necessary", but at least the others agree with me that Benzul is likely under some spell himself and we should try to save him.

The battle with Benzul was somewhat of a turning point for me. It was the first time I made a difference during one of our encounters. As soon as we attacked Benzul, the surrounding swarm of Goblins turned on us. I struck down countless numbers of them with my arrows, and even managed to disable Benzul when he was attacking Cora.

But that's when my luck ran out. After killing all the Goblins and defeating Benzul, he momentarily broke free of his spell and informed us it was the gaudy pants he had on that were causing him to sing, dance, and entrance us all. Sadira forced the pants off him, but then the belt itself came alive and wrapped around her wrists, while the pants began crawling up her legs. I managed to pull the belt off, but then it bound my wrists, and the pants began crawling toward me. Thankfully, Tordek cast a spell of protection from evil on me, allowing me to free myself from the belt. I planned on tossing the cursed thing out a nearby porthole, but as soon as Cora opened it, the belt latched onto her. Tordek, Cora, and I struggled to free her while Sadira attempted to contain the pants themselves in her cloak.

Then Benzul, like the fool he is, willingly put the pants back on... He began to succumb to the spell again and came for the belt, but before he could reach us, the belt entranced Cora and made her dance right out the porthole! I leaped through the porthole, hoping I could grab her before she fell away, but my grip on the porthole slipped and I fell into the darkness after her. The last thing I saw, before the dark swallowed us, was the belt wrapping around her throat and choking her.

Then it was complete darkness.

I fell long enough that I had time to regret my decision. I was full of false confidence after my lucky arrows and I thought I could be a hero, I thought I could save her. But instead, I became tangled in spiderwebs and was hauled away by Goblins. Where Cora is, whether she survived at all, I might never know. I don't think any of us will survive this place.

After some time, I was cut loose by Goblins and hauled away. I struggled to break loose of the webbing, I begged them to let me go, but they just laughed. They threw me in a small trunk, where I finally wriggled free of the webbing. I tried to break out, I even attacked them when they opened the trunk, but I was in no position to defeat them. They poked me with sharp sticks and laughed at me some more.

I attacked them when they tried to force me into a sack, but again I was overpowered. And again they laughed. They tossed me into a small cell of some sort, and this is where I've been. They've left me with all my goods, but what for? I've called out to them, tried to discern where I am and why I am being held prisoner. They just laugh at me.

How could I have ever thought there was anything redeemable about Goblins. Cavers, Carvers, and Cravers, they're all the same. They're all terrible. They are a disease.

And I walked right into their festering nest.

Like I said, this place will be the death of all of us. I should never have joined on this quest. What a fool I was to believe I could simply wipe away the memory of my mentor with that orb. How weak I was! I let his death, that memory, my greatest failure, haunt me, force me to run and hide. I've never had the strength to face it, and the orb was another pathetic attempt to avoid it, to avoid the truth.

I killed Rheillor.

My ignorance, my selfishness killed him. If I had been there, if I had cared about him as much as he cared about me...

I let him down, just like I've let everyone else down.

Wait...no. I haven't always let others down. I saved those villages from Goblins before, didn't I? And I killed all those Goblins around Benzul, didn't I? Maybe I've been wrong about myself all this time, maybe it's not about letting people down. Maybe I'm just no good at saving others. Maybe I'm just better at killing them.