Stay With Me (Roman Reigns)

59.

It's been two months since I told my 'father' that he was dead to me. Two months of getting better. Two months of the anxiety and panic attacks slipping away. I felt more like myself. In fact, I felt like myself this whole time. It helped that I had Roman. He kept me grounded. He kept me in the moment and that kept me from slipping into the dark. But it was also the baby. My baby kept me from turning into the dark girl I was when I went through this before. I was grateful for that because I did not want to become that girl ever again. I hated that girl. But that girl was also the reason I got into wrestling and she was the reason I met Roman. So, I guess, in a way I'm also grateful for her too but I didn't want to be her again.

Roman and I had went back home to stay there because we thought it was time. It was time to move forward and it was time to forget about what happened and live our lives the way we used to. I mean, of course it was hard to walk into that house at first but everything had been cleaned up and put back the way it was before that night. It got more comfortable to be there as time went on. And now we've been back for a month and a half.

Right now, Roman and I were sitting on the couch watching TV. He'd been a bit weird lately. Especially when Gleb was around and I knew why. Gleb was in love with me. None of us have really even talked about it since it was brought up that night. I don't think any of us really knew what to say and I think we just wanted to forget about it. Gleb included. It couldn't be easy for Roman knowing that his wife's best friend was in love with her. I just left it alone though but I wasn't gonna remove Gleb from my life either. He was too important to me to do that. We hadn't known each other long, not even a year, but he was important to me already and I wasn't gonna let that go.

"Katie." Roman said catching my attention. "I've been trying to find the words I need for this but, um, we need to talk about something."

"About Gleb?" I asked. "It's okay. I knew we were gonna talk about this at some point. You've been kind of weird around him lately and it's not hard to understand why."

"Okay. Then I guess we'll just jump into." he said. "I'm bothered. I'm bothered by the fact that he's in love with you. It's eating me alive. I sit here when you're at the studio with him and I can't help but wonder if he's gonna try and make a move on you. I mean, he's become a great friend to you in middle of it all and I really don't wanna have to kick his ass for touching you."

I chuckled and then looked at him. "Roman, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you. Next to this baby, you are the most special person in my life and it will always be that way no matter who says they're in love with me." I grabbed his hand in mine. "I'm gonna be honest with you for a second. When I heard that, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I looked at him differently. But what I realized is that he's not you. He's never gonna be you. And you, alone, have my heart. All of it. Do I love Gleb? Of course. He's my best friend. But I don't love him the way I love you. I don't think I could love anyone else the way I love you. You have done things for me that I can never repay or forget. Things that nobody will ever be able to do. You saved my life. You saved me from the girl I once was and you saved me from going back to that girl after what happened two months ago. It's always been you."

"I love you baby girl." he said. "So damn much. I can't think about anyone else touching you. Not after what I watched you go through two months ago. I can't think about sharing you with anyone besides our baby."

"You don't have to." I said. "I'm not that kind of girl." I looked down at my hands.

"You've been curious though, haven't you?" he asked.

I looked at him. "I'm sorry." I said. "I know I shouldn't be. I just, when I thought back on all the times he and I danced together and we were so close to each other, I think I could see it in his eyes and I didn't even notice then. And now it's like I can't get it out of my head." I cupped his face. "This does not mean that I love him more than I love you. I love you so much. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about all of this. I wish I could just forget about it and not be curious. Because I know how much this hurts. I can see it in your eyes. And I don't wanna hurt you. I never wanna hurt you." I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I love you so much."