Accidental hanahaki | Drarry

Part 9

( TW: suicide attempt / self harm⚠️)

Draco POV

Ive been beside harrys bed for three days now. I sleep in the infirmary on a bed next to him, i wake up before him so he doesnt have to feel lonely, and after school i bring his homework. It was our routine.

Hermione and ron visits a lot too. Usually ron and harry play wizards chess while me and hermione talk about books or usually the more grim topic, harrys current condition.

He has cough attacks throughout the day, and im always there to sooth him. Blaise visits a lot too, along with pansy, luna and ginny. A lot of the gryffindors and the occasional fan girls flock the infirmary during after school hours, but im always the only one to stay.

Today wasnt too bad of a day. Harry only had one cough attack in the morning and that one didnt have too many leaves. So now we were playing wizards chess on his bed, like we often ended the night.

" do you think i should tell them?" Harry asked out of the blue. I shrugged and moved my knight.

" if there is a chance it will save you, then yes"

I watched as my knight dragged harry's pawn off the board.

" im not sure it would be a good idea."

" you dont have much time left."

" i know."

" and you wont get the surgery."

" i know."

" so this could be the only way to save you."

" i know."

I rolled my eyes at his repeated response. I truly loved him but he could be such a dunce sometimes.

" you know what, why dont you just get the surgery?"

" i cant."

" is it money? Ill lend it to you."

" no its not that draco-"

" are you scared they will be mad at you? If they dont know it wont hurt them."

" no draco you don't understand-"

" is hermione telling you not to do this?"

" wha- no-"

" is it the person?"

" malfoy ENOUGH."

I flinched at the the mention of my last name. Harry hasn't called me that in months.

" i just dont get why you wouldn't get the surg-"

" because id rather die okay? I cannot imagine a life where that person means nothing to me."

I know i didnt have the right to be mad, but i was. I was mad at the fact that this mystery person was the reason why my love was dying, why he was so sick, why he would rather die than get a simple procedure, why he will never even give me the chance to be with him.

" and you expect us all to be fine with it? You have less than a week left harry! For all i know you could die at this very moment!"

" but i wont!"

" you dont know that! Why cant you just get the surgery, its selfish-"

" oh YOUR talking about being selfish? What? Its selfish for me to die? Its selfish for me to not want to forget the love of my life?"

" YES!"

" well i dont see it that way Malfoy! Im doing you a favor by not gettting the surgery believe me. I dont know who i would be without them okay?"

" harry just think about it! At least consider it!" I pleaded.

I was on the brink of tears. He glared daggers into me and i felt the stab of each and every one of them. His gaze hardened and thats when i knew i could never change his mind. I shut my eyes closed and nodded.

" okay then."

I proceeded to walk away from harry. I opened the infirmary curtains when he grabbed my wrist.

" no draco don-"

" whats the point then? What am i doing here? Why am i here day and night tending to you? Why am i here comforting you while you are in love with SOMEONE ELSE!"

I stormed out the infirmary, slamming the doors. In tears, i ran to the Slytherin common room, locking myself in my room.

Harry POV

I stood there, frozen in place. I didnt even flinch when the doors slammed shut. Instead i just stared at where draco once stood.

What did he mean by that? Does he like me? Does he love me- No. dont get carried away.

I sigh and flop back onto my bed, knocking the chessboard off during the process.

" shit"

I grabbed my wand and muttered wringardium leviosa. The chess pieces floated up and neatly placed themselves on my nightstand.

" no draco tonight ?"

Pomfrey came into the room. I nodded to her and she nodded back. She gave me my medicine for the night and left. I took my pills and my potions and laid back down.

Whats even the point now? Im dying any day. Its just harder for me and my friends. I should just get it over with.

My thoughts ran as i laid hopelessly on my hospital bed. I stared at the ceiling, the room lit by the moonlight.

I stood up, careful to not make any noise. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the lights. I squinted at the sudden brightness of the room and proceeded to walk towards the sink. I kept most of my things here now, since I'm gonna be here literally until the day i die.

He's never gonna love me back anyway. There isn't a point in hoping. Im just putting the people i love in pain by staying.

I picked up my razor that i use for shaving, popping out the blade. I stared at the shiny metal piece in my hand and stopped. For a second i hesitated, but thats all it was......... a second.

I carefully put it to my wrist and pushed down, hard, dragging the blade across my arm. The cut went all the way up my forearm, stopping by my elbow area. Blood seeped from the wound, spilling all over the floor. I felt almost numb. My skin was irritated but i felt almost nothing. I stared blankly at my slowly bleeding arm and looked in the mirror.

" pathetic. The boy who lived, lost to a couple of flowers."

I scoffed and proceeded to put the blade to my other arm. I winced as the cut i had already made accidentally brushed against my shirt. I ignored it and proceeded to cut down my other forearm. Like the other one, i felt nothing. My skin felt numb, just like my emotions.

I slid down the sink and laid my head down on my knees. I felt the blood from my arms trickle down my hand and past my fingertips. Droplets of blood turned to pools and eventually i could barely see. I reached for my wand, already regretting what i had done but realized i left it by my night stand. My blood loss made me dizzy and i collapsed to the floor.

Then, for the second time in 2 weeks, i blacked out.