Remain Nameless

Chapter 16

Draco sighed as his apparition landed him in a deserted alley a short block from his designated meeting point with Hermione. He had come to a decision: this was going to be the last of their little forays outside of the coffee shop. His feelings for her had grown so far beyond friendship it was painful. If his little wanton display in the cafe earlier this morning were any indication, he couldn't be trusted in her presence. He had to protect himself, and ultimately her, from their relationship getting out of hand.

Just tonight, just get through tonight. You can put the walls back up Monday, just don't be an arse to her tonight and no touching outside of anything strictly platonic.

Draco steeled himself to be distantly friendly, but then he rounded the corner before the restaurant and he spotted Hermione. He stopped walking.

Her beauty completely overthrew him once again. He allowed himself to stand totally still, half hidden behind the corner of a brick building and simply take her in, unseen.

Hermione had clearly put a lot of effort into making her usually riotous curls behave themselves for the evening. They were pulled back into a sleek bun at the base of her neck, with a few strands artfully left to frame her face. Her short dress was an elegant, rich purple and Draco grew warmer under his suit as he realized he'd never seen so much of her bare skin. The high neckline of the sleeveless dress fastened like a collar around her throat, leaving the skin of her shoulders and arms exposed to the night air. The dress flared out slightly at her waist, falling to just above her knees, which meant Draco could see plenty of leg and Merlin, she was wearing heels.

Weasley has got to be the biggest idiot alive. There were countless instances throughout his life that Draco had thought of Ron Weasley as an absolute moron (on the quidditch pitch, during classes, any time he opened his mouth, etc.) But seeing Hermione tonight, he felt the strongest surge of that thought yet. How did that tosser ever let her go?

The sobering thought of having to let her go made his gut clench painfully. A smart woman like her, she had to know, right? She must know Draco was no good for her. He was so terrified of losing something he didn't even have with her. A coward to the last, Draco knew that losing Granger was something his heart could not afford. In all his wildest daydreams and fantasies about a relationship with her, there was no version that didn't end with her eventually leaving. It would be inevitable, he couldn't offer her anything beyond a pathetic excuse for a wizard still desperately trying to figure out how to live his life. His surname came with so much public baggage, not to mention all his private emotional and mental baggage but at least he saw a Healer for that, it would cause any prudent witch to run screaming for the hills. If they ever were to embark on something romantically meaningful, she'd eventually come to her senses, or Draco would massively fuck up again, and she'd leave and be his ultimate undoing. This had gone far enough already.

And so Draco would do what he'd successfully done his entire life. He would lie. He would lie to himself and the rest of the world. A brief tour of Draco's life of lying follows:

Age 12: I'm better than Hermione Granger because I'm pureblooded and she is Muggleborn. Lie.

Age 13: I'm definitely not afraid of Dementors. Lie.

Age 15: I'm absolutely not jealous of Harry Potter's moronic army of children learning advanced defensive magic and I think Dolores Umbridge is a sane person. Lie.

Age 16: I'm honored to receive the Dark Mark in service to the Dark Lord and have zero qualms about having to murder Albus Dumbledore. Lie.

Age 16-17: Everything is fine. My family will survive our service to the Dark Lord. Everything is fine. The Dark Lord will succeed and our family will be rewarded. This is what I want. A world ruled by the Dark Lord will be a better one. Lie.