Tearing Apart

PROLOGUE

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Ally laid in the hospital bed torturing herself. How could she ever be so stupid once again?

"That's it, he's gonna leave me now"

Silence and darkness engulfed the room and they only fueled her somber mood.

-Fuck!- she whispered

How could she even dare to treat him that way...? Last couple months, she had been nothing but a pain in the ass that he just had to put up with. And she hadn't even noticed.

She sat down with difficulty and made herself stand. Her bare feet flinching at the chilly floor. She reached to hold the pole of the IV drip that was running through her arm and keeping it close to her, she walked slowly towards the bathroom door.

Once inside, she peed for five minutes straight and then, sighing, she forced herself to stand up again. She reached the sink with unhurried pace, taking her time to wash her hands. Pretending to be very immerse in the task... Until she finally gathered the courage to look at herself in the mirror.

She touched the gauze stuck against her forehead and winced in pain. Her fingers running through a few superficial cuts all over her face.

She poked the dark circles below her eyes and her hands traveled down her body trying to fix her gown as best as she could.

She hated it... She hated that flimsy piece of cloth and she hated this fucking hospital... She hated the hole she had jumped herself into and most of all, she hated her stupid self!

A bang on the door made her head snap back to the moment. She turned and just stared at it. A second later another loud bang made her jump

-Miss Eckert? – A female voice asked behind the door, rattling the handle for a bit – are you in there?

Ally took a deep breath and went to open the door, revealing a slim, mousey nurse with an annoyed face.

-Yeah- she offered a half smile- sorry I just needed to pee so badly

-Ma'am you are not supposed to get out of your bed right now- The woman scolded while holding her by the arm and upping her to bed – You should have called us! Please do so in the future.

-But, they're only keeping me here for tonight, I'll be gone by tomorrow morning, so why the fuzz?

-You could have hurt yourself. You could have lost balance or something worse... Please Miss Eckert, abide by the rules

Ally rolled her eyes and the nurse glared at her with her arms crossed over her chest expectantly.

-Ok, whatever, I'll do as you say! – she exclaimed finally after an awkward staring contest.

The nurse turned around satisfied and went to exit the room, not before being almost ran over by a very agitated Jo who was barging into the room as she went on her way.

-Ally!- Jo screeched, hurrying to the bed, her fingers lingering over her face, doubtful- My plane was landing when I got the call! I came as fast as I could! Are you ok?

Ally looked at her eyes for a minute and then she felt her chest convulse, a sea of tears plummeting all over her lap and down the sheets

-No!- She cried- I'm not ok!

-What is it? Did they say there was something wrong? What happened? – Jo was quickly hugging her and pulling her chin up to scan her face.

-I'm a fuck up Jo! - she screamed- everything I put my hands onto I manage to break. I screwed up – she paused- Again! And badly... and now he's going to leave me for good!

She choked up. The memories of the past months drilling her mind...