The Leviathan's Rose

Chapter 12 - Everyone Needs a Break

Lottie jumped in her chair as Jamie slapped down twenty pounds in front of her. 

She looked up with startled eyes as she took in the sight of what looked like the ghost of Jamie Volk. 

"I realized that I owe you for when we fell in the pool." he said exasperatedly. 

Lottie eyed the money on the table. Her gaze flickered back to Jamie. 

"You look tired." she said softly. 

Jamie's bag thumped on the floor when he carelessly threw it to the library floor. It was early morning, so Jamie couldn't hide his slumping shoulders and eye bags, dark and heavy in comfort of the pitch black night. 

"I didn't sleep much." 

But you practically slept the whole day...

Lottie fixed her posture. Here goes nothing.

"Jamie," she said. His eyes flickered to hers. "I think you need a break." 

Jamie's movements stopped. 

Lottie sucked in a breath when he looked at her. How could someone's eyes look so broken? 

"W-what?" he choked out. 

Lottie reached her hands over the table, resting them on top of Jamie's cold ones. 

"Jamie, you've been overworking yourself. You haven't caught a break. You can't expect me not to notice that you're crushing yourself. You're not sleeping, I can't tell if you're eating like you're supposed to anymore, and I've never once heard of you getting a break or vacation or whatever from your job." she said without a breath in between. 

Jamie maneuvered his hand to be on top of hers instead. 

"My job isn't made to have breaks." he said softly. Lottie hadn't realized she was tearing up until he handed her a handkerchief. 

"I've never gotten a break because I'm always supposed to be protecting you, even when I'm not ordered to by the king and queen. Sometimes I don't catch enough sleep, it happens to everyone. I eat enough, you just don't always see it. Keeping myself healthy is part of my job."

"Ellie..." Lottie breathes out. "Your job is to protect Ellie, even when you're not ordered to by her parents. Not me." she said quietly. 

Something in Lottie's chest broke when Jamie's eyes started to glisten.

"I know that I can get in trouble, and that a lot of the bad situations we've been through had to do with me." She sucked in a breath. "But everyone deserves a break, even from watching over Ellie and I to make sure we don't get ourselves in trouble. Besides, I've been training with you and I'm getting better. I'm sure I can ask Saskia to help train me or give me things to do while you're on break." 

Jamie's breath rattled. "I can't afford a break, not without the king or queen-"

"I can deal with the king and queen. And it doesn't have to be one full blown break. It can be... one week out of each month! That way you won't be so stressed about missing so much time." 

A pocket of silence swam between them. Lottie's heart thumped rapidly, waiting for his answer. She knew that Jamie could make his own decisions. She knew that he was smart enough to know what's best for Ellie at the end of the day. She only hoped that he could see that what was best for her and Ellie wasn't always best for him. 

He inhaled deeply, blinking away some of the exhaustion fogging his vision. 

"One week at the end of every month. But I get to say when I want my week to be over." 

"You can negotiate that with Ellie and I." Lottie finalized, letting out a breath. "We just want you to be okay. Not "fine", not "could be better", we want you to be okay. As in safe. That includes mentally." 

He finally looked at her again. There was something there in those burnt hazel eyes. They were a little less broken, a little more tender, and a bit more teary. 

"You aren't failing us by taking care of yourself, don't forget that." 

Please never forget that.

~~~

It was beginning to get colder on the ground of Rosewood Hall. Every once in a while a breeze would pass by, causing a chill to run up the expensive spines of the students. The morning dew had not yest frozen over, it wasn't cold enough yet. 

Clouds had crawled over the sky progressively. But every once in a while, rays of sunlight would peek out from their hiding places, framing the mysterious and luxurious bubble of Rosewood Hall in a golden light, casting a glowing halo. Just like how Jamie had looked that day in the infirmary, like a fallen angel. 

Lottie would sometimes think about how different things would have been if she didn't make it into Rosewood Hall, staying back in Cornwall all her life. She would have never known what she could have become, the people she could have protected. It was always a question of "what if". She wondered how many "what if"s ran through Jamie's head. 

She peered over her textbook and studied Haru's movements as he helped Professor Devine. He still kept up his summer-breeze facade, but it seemed deeper than that, like it had always been a part of him. She thought about how he'd said the Chiba's valued his health, outside of how it would affect his capabilities of protecting Sayuri. 

The two partizans were opposites. Haru had grown to be warm, under equally warm nurturing and care. Jamie had grown in the icy land of Maradova, where everything he ever did was judged under the eyes of everyone ranking above him. Haru was allowed to explore his passion. Jamie was forced to hide them, putting them behind his duty. One he wasn't born into, but one that he was forced into. 

Lottie's eyes snapped back to her textbook when Haru's eyes met hers. 

She wouldn't let him hurt Jamie. She survived Ingrid twice, and she was much more forward. If needed, she would put herself between Haru and Jamie if it meant saving Jamie from Leviathan. Saskia knew how Leviathan worked, all she needed was some guidance and training from her. But Haru wasn't anything like other Leviathan members. 

So, it begged the question...

Who are you Haruki Hinamori, and what do you want with my partizan?